


Dream a Little Dream of Me

by Stormlyht



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Crazy Castiel, Kidnapping, M/M, Minor Season 8 spoilers, Mpreg, Pregnancy sex, Season 7 Spoilers, c-section birthing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-08
Updated: 2013-10-08
Packaged: 2017-12-28 15:51:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,516
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/993735
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stormlyht/pseuds/Stormlyht
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dean and Sam are trying to deal with the Leviathans when Meg contacts them to inform them that crazy Cas has disappeared.  While he and Sam are trying to find Cas, Dean keeps dreaming that Cas is talking to him.  Are the dreams real or are they just his mind playing tricks on him?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Dream a Little Dream of Me

**Author's Note:**

> This was done for the Supernatural MPreg Big Bang. SPN Mpreg BB 2013
> 
> I had a ton of fun with this story and hope you like. 
> 
> My artist was the fantastic [An Amoeba](http://an-amoeba.livejournal.com/). 
> 
> My beta for this piece was [Verucasalt123](http://verucasalt123.livejournal.com/), and I would have been lost without her.

For the sake of this fic, we are going to assume that Meg and Castiel returned to the mental hospital once Castiel was awake and Kevin Tran went off back home with the angels.

#

Castiel loved the bees. They flitted around and sniffed flowers, placing their tiny bodies into the heart of love and just by being there, by moving around, they could create new life. New life was a big deal to Castiel, because new life was everything. When Castiel got close to the flowers he could actually watch the bees move inside, could actually see the moment when two parts became one and that first spark of new life was created. It was as though the world hummed in time to that action.

Gathering up the bee he moved to another flower and encouraged the next bee to take a sip from the essence that was Castiel the angel. They could live off of his life force for hours, for days, possibly weeks. Zipping away from the crowded street, Castiel went to a field, and as he walked through it, more and more bees attached to him. That was nice, but he had too many clothes on, they couldn't truly communicate with him. Stripping everything off he turned around a few times and felt them humming with him. The network was complete, and in the moment, he could feel the new life that was inside of him.

He didn't know how to tell Dean, because Dean was human, a Hunter, and Cas was male. Life was important though, and maybe he could simply say that? Yes. Dean would understand. Feeling a sense of clarity, he disappeared and reappeared in Dean's car.

"Cas!" Dean shrieked, his food falling out of his hands. "What are you doing here?"

"Life," Castiel said, looking at the bees zipping around him. "Life is so very important, don't you think Dean?"

"Cas," now the voice was warning as he looked at the bees. "What's going on?"

"They like life," Castiel said, with a nod, one hand touching his lower belly. Pulling his feet up onto the seat and crossing his legs, he looked over at Dean. "Don't you?"

"Life is good," Dean said gingerly, eyes lingering on Castiel's hand and the movements he was making. "But the bees sting. I've been stung by a lot of bees Cas, can you make them go away?"

"They like me." Castiel face fell. Maybe Dean wouldn't understand.

"Why are you naked?"

"Oh," Castiel smiled up at Dean. "I was in a flower field and they wanted to be closer to me. So I took off my clothes."

"Because that makes sense?" Dean asked, turning to face Castiel, and placing the rest of his food on the seat next to him. "Cas, what's going on?"

"Life," Castiel stressed, his hand circling his belly. "New life, because that's always the best kind."

"Old life is bad?" Dean grinned.

"No, old life is a life well lived, and that's precious in a different way. Did you know that flowers make a "zing" noise when they are pollinated?" Castiel loved that noise.

"No, I didn't. Cas, is there something important you wanted to say to me?"

"Yes, have you not gotten it?" Surely Dean understood by now?

"No." Dean shook his head.

"It's life, what I wanted to say." Maybe if he said it very slowly?

"Life?"

"Yes. New life."

"New life?"

Nodding his head, Castiel smiled. Dean understood. "Yes!"

"You came here, naked, covered in bees, to tell me about new life?"

"Yes!" Dean did understand! "I'm so glad you get it."

"Yeah Cas," Dean said slowly. "I get that. Okay."

"Thank you Dean. I really appreciate you understanding." Castiel reached out and gently placed his hand on Dean's shoulder. "You are amazing, and wonderful."

"Thanks Cas," Dean said, frowning now.

"I'll see you again then Dean." Before Dean even got a chance to say anything, Castiel disappeared and appeared in the field with the bees. He would have to put his clothes back on he supposed.

There was a sudden shift in the air, and when Castiel looked up there were four demons around him, one of which was Crowley.

"Well then, I've heard of all manner of strange things Castiel, but this? Naked flower frolicking?" His eyes traveled down Castiel's body and back up. "Must be a new fetish."

"Crowley." Castiel felt a little uncertain. He wasn't sure how to respond to seeing the demon he had betrayed. "I wish I could say it was good to see you."

"Same for me," Crowley agreed. "Now, you're coming with me, or I'm going to have to get rough."

Rough? No. Castiel put a hand on his stomach again, the life inside him pounding with fierce determination. "Of course you don't have to be rough," Castiel said.

"No?" Crowley lifted his eyebrows. "So you'll come then? Good, I don't want to hurt the precious package inside you."

Oh. Crowley wanted the new life. "Is this because you cannot create life of your own?" Castiel asked sadly. "I can understand how it could be quite upsetting for you." Life was amazing.

Crowley frowned and took a step towards Castiel. "Are you putting your clothes on or not?"

"Ah, yes," Castiel reached for them, and then he was dressed. "Thank you. Are you taking me to Hell? I don't think it would be a good idea."

"I'm taking you wherever I want to," Crowley said, grasping Castiel by the arm. "Because you're mine now Castiel. You and the little mite."

Castiel considered that. "Maybe I can help you create new life of your own?" he offered.

"Yeah," Crowley said, moving them to another place. It was a cell, little more than what Castiel had at the mental hospital. "We'll talk about that later, maybe, you and I." There were sigil's to keep Castiel in, he wouldn't be able to escape easily.

Looking around, Castiel sighed. "You realize there is only so much you can do to keep me here. Dean will no doubt come for me." Thinking of Dean made his heart beat a little faster. They had new life between them now, they would never truly be separated ever again.

"Yes, of course, but I will have to keep him busy until then." Crowley was on the other side of the bars by the time he finished speaking. "You just sit tight Castiel. Can I bring you a book perhaps?"

"I'd like to knit," Castiel smiled, considering. "I haven't gotten to try that yet."

"Right," Crowley said, eyes still on Castiel. "There's something not right with you, you get that, right?"

"Yes." Castiel nodded.

"I'll see what I can do." Then he was gone and three guards were placed on the cage. Castiel looked to one wall and wished for his bees back.

#

Dean picked the phone out of his pocket as it started to ring. "Demon Bitch" the display read and he looked at Sam. "Meg," he said, flipping it open. "Yeah?" he asked.

"Is he with you?" Meg's voice came through, sounding irritated.

"Who?" Dean frowned, looking around the room.

"Who do you think, the Easter Bunny?" she asked sarcastically.

"Cas? Of course not, he's with you." He'd better be there with her.

"No, he's not. He went for a walk a couple days ago and he hasn't returned," Meg said, and Dean could almost hear her pacing.

"What?" Dean hollered, standing and pacing himself. "Why didn't you call sooner?"

"Because he goes out sometimes Dean, that's just what he does. He likes the bees and flowers." Dean could almost hear her rolling her eyes. "So, your angel is missing."

"He goes missing like that, you tell us right away!" Dean went to his bag and started packing it.

"Well I have," Meg said easily. "I've been looking for him today, now you get to figure out where he's gone."

"There's no clues? Any other demons around Meg?" Dean asked, and he heard her snort.

"If there was anything like that, don't you think I'd have told you? I'm going to head to you and -" but Dean cut her off.

"No, you stay there Meg," he growled. "If Cas shows up again you'll let us know right away, understood?"

"Well aren't you the bossy type? If you want to tell me what to do you should start by tying me up."

"Don't be a bitch, bitch," Dean said, looking around the room. "We're going to come down there, should be there in a day or so."

"Have fun driving," she said, and hung up.

"What's going on?" Sam asked, standing near his own packed bag.

"Cas is missing," Dean said, taking a deep breath. "He just... went away and didn't come back."

"Why didn't Meg say anything?" Sam closed the bag and tossed it over his shoulder.

"I don't know." Dean could feel his heart pounding in his chest as though it wanted to beat out of him. Cas had just appeared recently, the bees and new life conversation in the back of his car, and now what was going on? Did he just go away then?

"Hey, we'll find him," Sam said, placing a hand on Dean's shoulder, and Dean looked up at his brother, a frown on his face. "Don't worry."

"Sammy, he was just here, in the car, the day he disappeared, if what she's saying is real." There was a catch to his voice. What if some demon got him? Cas was so gentle right now it was hard to believe it was the same man who had fought angels and demons together with Dean and Sam. Could he fight if his life was threatened?

"He was?"

"Yeah. Kept talking about the bees and new life," Dean sighed. "I have no idea what his point was. He was covered in bees, and completely naked." Dean's mind created the memory for Dean to get all hard over again. Castiel was a beautiful man, and Dean had not been able to resist anymore, back when they'd been on the way to fix Sammy. It had felt so fucking right, at the time, and now Cas was missing.

"He was..." Sam trailed off. "That must have been a little... odd."

"Yeah," Dean laughed, walking to the door and opening it. "We've got to get him back."

"We will," Sam agreed. "Let's go."

#

"Sir!" one of Crowley's demons called, running up the stairs from the basement Crowley had Castiel tucked away in. "Sir, it's the angel, he's -" but he didn't get to continue, because Crowley had him by the throat.

"He's *what* love?" Crowley asked, eyes darkening as he looked over at his demon. If anything had happened to his angel...

"Wrapped in..." the demon tried to speak around Crowley's hold, but it wasn't easy. "String," he finished.

Frowning, Crowley put the demon down and raised an eyebrow. "This is a cause for panic?" he asked, and the demon rubbed at his throat, gasping for breath.

"He's tangled up, and says he can't untangle himself sir," the demon said, and Crowley stood up with his glass of Craig and motioned towards the door.

"We'll see about that then," Crowley said, heading down the stairs.

Just a few steps down he heard Castiel laughing, and he wasn't sure he wanted to know what exactly that meant. So far since he'd moved Castiel in the angel had managed to light his sheets on fire because he'd been trying to read at night. He'd caused the walls to talk at odd intervals in strange accents because he missed intellectual conversation. Then he'd made one of the demons croak like a toad, he'd been trying to soothe the demon's throat, and lastly he'd caused a sudden flood to the basement because he had wanted a drink of water. All of that happened over the course of two days, and Crowley wasn't sure how much more he was going to be able to take honestly.

Downing the rest of his drink for strength, Crowley walked the last few stairs and turned the corner. Where he saw Castiel, laughing as three different colors of yarn wrapped around him. He stared, then stared some more, but the yarn didn't stop moving.

"Castiel?" Crowley said, voice tentative. He couldn't actually see the angel, it was more that he could tell that the large lump was Castiel. "What's going on?"

"Crowley?" Castiel said from inside the multi colored clump of string. "I'm stuck, can you please help me?"

"Really Feathers? How'd you manage this one then?" Crowley drawled, walking towards the bars of the cage. So far he hadn't had to do anything to force Castiel to stay inside his barred room, which was disconcerting but useful. He liked it when things were useful.

"I tried to make the needles work on one part while I was working on the other part," he said with another chuckle. "It didn't work."

"No, I suspect not," Crowley agreed, opening the door and taking a step inside. "One bit's further along than the other bit." He could see the knitting book off to the side, open, and the bag of yarn he'd brought for Castiel was emptied, its contents either on Castiel or across the floor.

"Yes," Castiel said, but his voice wasn't coming from the yarn Crowley was walking towards anymore, it was coming from further in the room.

"Feathers?" Crowley asked, but he didn't manage to say anything else because the yarn was wrapping up and around him then, and Castiel was moving forward, eyes focused on Crowley.

"You cannot hold me," Castiel whispered, two fingers pressing against Crowley's forehead. "You cannot." But nothing happened to Crowley, because Castiel's angel juice was so well trapped that he couldn't even put Crowley to sleep. Although Crowley was now wrapped up in yarn, he didn't see the need to set it on fire. Not *just* yet.

"Yes love, I can," Crowley said, a slow smile creeping across his face. Castiel backed away, then rushed for the doors to the cell. He touched the open space and a shock went through him.

Crying out, Castiel curled up on the ground in a ball and wrapped his hands over his belly. "No!" he whispered, moaning and rocking back and forth. "You're evil."

"That's right mate," Crowley said, trying to untangle himself, but not getting very far. "But I am the King of Hell, so that's to be expected, isn't it?"

"I hate you," Castiel whispered, and Crowley laughed.

"That's good. I hate you too. I just want your baby, so be a good boy until you've delivered and all will be well. Deal?"

"No," Castiel said with another moan, but Crowley just stood there, waiting. "Fine," he pouted, and a slow smile crept across Crowley's face.

"That's a good dear, now let me out of this yarn." Crowley tugged at some of it again, but it wrapped closer and tighter around him. "Now."

Looking up at him, Castiel glared, but his hand waved at the yarn and it let go of Crowley. "You will get no mercy from me," Castiel said, eyes almost glowing with his anger.

"Good," Crowley said, walking forward and caressing his fingers down Castiel's cheek. "I would so hate it if we were on too good of terms." Then he stood up and walked out of the cage. "Have fun with your string Feathers," he said, walking back upstairs without looking back.

#

"Took you boys long enough," Meg said when Dean and Sam came up to her in the hospital. "What'd you do, stop at every burger joint on the way?"

"No," Dean said, frowning at her and crossing his arms. "We drove as fast as we could, making a few stops in places we knew Cas has been in the past."

"Find him anywhere?"

"If we had, do you really think we'd be here?" Dean motioned for her to lead the way, and she walked them into Cas' room. "So how have you managed to keep the doctors from suspecting anything?"

"They think he's with family," Meg said. "You boys specifically. You came and signed him out and everything, how good of you."

"We just got here," Sam said, closing the door behind himself.

"Then it's good I forged the papers. What else could I do? You seem to think it's worth my time still being here even with him gone, and I had to come up with something or there'd be a man hunt out for Clarence."

"Yeah, it's better if there isn't one of those," Dean said. "If Cas' picture got out to the media, everyone would be after him."

"So what are you going to do exactly?" Meg asked, sitting on Cas' bed and crossing her ankles. "It's not like you can just zoom out after him, right? You have any leads?"

"We were hoping you could tell us something," Dean said, walking around the room and looking at the pictures on the wall, the nicknacks on the table, the used clothes in the corner of the room. Cas had come to him, had seemed so focused on something important, and Dean hadn't understood a damn thing Cas had said.

"When did he leave?" Sam asked, and his gentle voice was more irritating than soothing to Dean.

"Like I said, a couple days before I called you, about 5 days now," Meg said and Dean wanted to smack her. "He does that, just goes away sometimes for a day or so, returns smiling usually. Sometimes with something ridiculous for me to see. He brought me a bouquet of flowers once." Dean could hear the irritation in her voice, but there was a hint of something else as well.

"Were you and Cas..." Dean asked, turning to look right at her. "Involved?"

"Don't be silly, what on earth could a Demon want with an Angel? Hmm?" she asked, but the smile on her face just made Dean want to smack her more. What indeed?

"I don't know, but I was hoping you could tell me," he said, crossing his arms.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch, your angel is yours still," she said, rolling her eyes. "I'd suggest trying to summon him, but I've done that already and he didn't appear."

"So he can't come, he's being held somewhere?" Sam said. "That's good."

"How is that good Sammy?" Dean snapped, his temper getting the best of him.

"That tells us that he's not hiding from us or anything like that. It means he's being held against his will, one less mystery."

"Doesn't help much unless we know who could have taken him," Meg pointed out.

"We could call a different angel, see if they've seen Cas," Sam suggested, but then he frowned as he thought that over.

"No luck, I tried that too," Meg said. "No one from Cas' old garrison are answering, so either they're being held against their will, or they're dead."

"No one?" Dean asked, looking over at Meg with a frown. "Wait, did you try them all?"

"Every single one that Cas told me about."

"And none of them answered?"

"Not a single one. I think they're all dead," Meg shrugged. "I don't have any connections to use, so you boys are on your own. Now, you're sure you want me to stay here?"

"What's wrong Meg, you don't like it here?" Dean asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Actually, it's fine. No one knows I'm here, but it's boring without Clarence around, so..." she trailed off and shrugged. "I'm bored."

"Tough," Dean looked at Sam. "This was a bust, nothing important learned. Let's go." He walked towards the door but paused at a small picture. It was of a stick figure surrounded by yellow dots with a smaller stick figure in it's arms. Weird. Shaking his head, Dean opened the door. "We'll let you know if we find anything."

"Good, I'll just stay here and rot, thank you so much for your support."

"Not a problem Meg," Sam said with a nod towards her. "Stay safe."

#

It was probably beyond his abilities, but Castiel wanted to try reaching out to Dean anyway. He didn't think he could try another confrontation with Crowley, since the first one hadn't gone very well, and he thought that maybe if he managed to tell Dean what was going on, he might be able to bring Dean to him.

Lying back on his cot, he closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. Since he couldn't angel his way into Dean's dreams he had to focus on the other man and slip into them gently. It was easier than anticipated to put his body into the trance state that would allow him to travel out, but once he had started walking away from his body he realized he was tethered to it. There was a silver string attaching himself to his vessel, which was strange, but he automatically decided that it was because of the new life growing inside of him. No doubt.

The world was foggy through dream haze, like walking through mist, and he had one person in particular he had to get to. Dean Winchester. The good thing about his target was that he had a link to Dean's soul. The hand print on his arm was ingrained in the fabric of Dean's essence, which made it very easy for Castiel to find the mind that belonged to Dean. If only he could just as easily find the body. Not that Castiel needed Dean's body right at the moment, but it would have come in handy back when he'd had those marks on Dean's ribs.

Focus, Castiel told himself. The mist was dangerous, because being out in it too long opened himself up to getting lost on the way back to his vessel. He straightened himself up and followed the voice inside his mind that would lead him to Dean.

Ah, there he was. He was dreaming about girls again. Castiel found it fascinating what Dean dreamed about. Sometimes it was women, sometimes it was fixing the Impala, occasionally Dean dreamed about Castiel, and sometimes he even dreamed about Sam. Mostly though, it was sex and the Impala. There were times when Castiel felt as though he should be jealous of the Impala, but then he remembered that although technically Dean loved the car, he wasn't capable of having sexual relations with it, and he certainly wasn't going to drop Castiel for the vehicle. Although, Castiel was a little bit uncomfortable knowing that the sex he'd had with Dean had been in the back seat of the second most interesting thing Dean dreamed about.

The girls faded as Castiel got closer to Dean. Now Cas was entering the dream, even before Castiel himself was moving into Dean's head. That was interesting. Was Dean instinctively grasping for Castiel? Placing his hand on Dean's soul, Castiel sank into the dream, and then Dean's hands were all over his naked body. Dean's tongue was slipping into Castiel's mouth, and it felt so good.

"Dean," Castiel moaned, leaning into Dean's hands, feeling the weight of Dean's body against him. "Dean."

"Cas," Dean gasped, running his hands down Castiel's chest, hands grazing his hips. "You're so beautiful."

"Yes," Castiel agreed. "You are quite beautiful." Castiel ran his own hands down Dean's body, feeling the hard flesh under his fingertips. He liked touching Dean, wished he had done it more before he'd taken on Sam's crazy, as Dean called it. 

"Cas, where are you?" Dean whispered against Castiel's chest, pushing him back on a bed, and Castiel smiled up at him.

"I am right here with you Dean," he said, looking over Dean's strong body. He wasn't muscled like Sam was, there was a softness just above his strength that Castiel liked to touch. He had a feeling that if Dean kept drinking the way he did, he would end up with a beer gut. Castiel didn't know what he would think of that in the future, but for now the thought didn't bother him.

"Yeah Cas," Dean whispered, leaning down to kiss Castiel's chest. "I know you're here, but you're not... Here."

"Oh Dean," Castiel felt his body melt against Dean as the truth of those words hit him somewhere deep inside. "Yes, I know. But the bees know where I am Dean," he said, reaching down to touch Dean's face. "You should listen to them, they want to find me too."

"Cas?" Dean said, frowning, eyes searching Castiel's face, momentarily stopping all touching and kissing as he did so. "What the hell do the bees have to do with -" but whatever he was about to say got lost as Castiel found himself disappearing from Dean's mind and rushing back to his vessel.

Gasping, Castiel sat up straight, eyes wide, body covered with water and freezing. "What?" he croaked, looking around at three demons and one Crowley.

"Now now ," Crowley said with a truly evil smile on his face. "Where do you think you were going?"

"I was... nowhere," Castiel said, shaking his head and running his hands up and down his body. "Why would you... what are you talking about?"

"I'm talking about the trip out of your vessel of course," Crowley said, shaking his head. "Tsk, tsk Castiel, we can't have you visiting other people, you might tell them things. Am I going to have to get rough with you?"

"I don't know what you're talking about," Castiel denied. If he could just convince Crowley he might get a second chance.

"You don't sleep, you're an angel. What do you think I am, stupid?"

"I want a TV," Castiel said suddenly, eyes wide. "I am so bored that I am sleeping. Can't I have a TV?"

"What? You must be joking, what do you want a TV for?" Crowley asked.

"Cable, or perhaps... I have heard of Netflix, is that something useful?" Castiel had distracted Crowley, but he knew it was a temporary thing.

"Maybe Feathers," Crowley said, shaking his head. "We'll see. For now though, don't go to sleep, hmm?"

"Yes, of course, I can see how me sleeping could be considered violent," Castiel nodded his head. "I apologize."

Watching Castiel closely, Crowley finally shook his head and headed out of the room, his demons following him. A couple of towels were tossed into the cell with Castiel, and he grabbed for one, using it to dry himself off. He would have to try again later.

#

Dean woke with a gasp, his eyes snapping open to look around the room. His heart was pounding in his chest and he felt like every nerve was standing on end. That last bit of his dream had seemed so real somehow. A thin sheen of sweat was across his whole body, and he stood up to try to walk off the absolute freakyness of the whole thing.

For one, he hadn't ever dreamed about Cas in a sexual way before. He had to admit that he'd actually had sex with Cas once, well if he admitted it properly it had been about four times, in the back of the Impala while on their way to go see and fix Sammy. That hadn't even really been Cas though, he'd been Emmanuel, and Meg had been hiding away watching out for them and... Dean could come up with a lot of excuses for why that hadn't been right. In this dream though, it was Cas, and it felt so right. Why would Cas be crazy though?

Dean began to pace, ignoring his hard on because if he did that long enough, it would go away. Cas was Cas, and if he was going to dream about having sex with Cas, wouldn't he dream of doing it with sane Cas, not the Cas that he saw these days? Talking about the fucking *bees* for God's sake!

He paused. That was exactly what real, now, Cas would talk about, right? So... what if it wasn't just a dream? He shook his head. No, if it wasn't just a dream, wouldn't Cas tell him something more? Something more interesting, more useful, more like, "I'm being held in a dungeon by aliens, come save me."? Instead of "the bees want to find me too"?

"Dean?" Sam's sleepy voice mumbled as he pushed the bedroom door open. "Why are you awake?"

Glancing at the clock, Dean saw that it was four in the morning. Why had he woken up so early? "Nothing, I mean..." he shook his head. "I just had a weird dream."

"You too?" Sam asked, and Dean frowned. Had Sam had a Cas dream too?

"What was yours about?" Dean asked quickly and Sam pulled his hand away from his face.

"Um, that I was a cat, why, what did you dream about?" Sam opened his eyes wider and stared at Dean closely. "What did you dream about Dean?" Now he sounded more awake, more alert.

"Nothing," Dean said, but at Sam's shaking head, he sighed and shrugged. "I don't think it was anything. I... had a dream about Cas."

"Oh." Sam nodded. "That's kind of to be expected, right? I mean, given that we're searching for him and all."

"No," Dean insisted before he could think about what he was saying. "I mean, I really think he was in my dream. It was so..." he trailed off and stared at Sammy, realizing how it had started. "Um..." He couldn't tell Sam he'd had an erotic dream about Cas, could he?

"Dean, if it involves less than full clothing, I don't want to know," Sam said evenly, and Dean was surprised.

"It wouldn't... bother you if I... I mean... if we..." he couldn't even finish speaking, he was so flustered. Was his brother really that accepting?

"What?" Sam asked. "You think I haven't seen the way you two have been looking at each other for years now? Come on Dean, both of you are so far in love you have hearts floating above your heads whenever you're near each other, I'm not dense."

They did? "I am," Dean said, continuing to stare at his brother.

There was a pause as both of them looked at each other, but then Sam shook his head. "You didn't know you were in love with Cas?"

"No?" He'd had sex, that was different from love.

"Dean," Sam groaned, sitting down on the bed. "Come on, what'd you dream then?"

"We were making out," Dean said, still watching his brother.

"I told you... fine, so what made it so special, and if you go into the sex details I'm going to kill you."

"It wasn't the sex details that were special. Or..." he shook his head. "My point is that Cas was... well, crazy Cas." Dean returned to pacing.

"So?"

"So if I'm going to dream of having sex with Cas, wouldn't it be the real Cas, or even Emmanuel which is the real version I had sex with?" Oh shit, had that really come out of his mouth? Dean stopped moving and held very still.

"Wait, what?" Sam asked, and Dean cursed himself for his slip of the tongue. "You actually had sex with Cas?"

"No, not really." Dean rubbed his hand across his face a few times then turned to look at Sam. "Yes? Does it count if he didn't know who he was at the time?"

"Of course it counts, it was still Cas. Why didn't you tell me about this?" Sam looked disappointed.

"Because it didn't seem important."

"Of course it's important! Dean, you had *sex* with Cas! Obviously that's important."

"Why? I have sex with tons of people, so why is Cas different?" Dean threw back at his brother, but not because he didn't know the answer to the question. It was because he *did* know the answer, and the answer hurt. He'd had sex with *Cas*, and it hadn't really even been Cas at the time.

"How many people are Cas? Dean," Sammy stood and walked over to him, placing a hand on Dean's shoulder, and Dean wanted to run away, leave the conversation, never return. "Cas is important to you, he's important to us. Cas is family, he's been for a while. Having sex with him, that's a *big* deal."

"He wasn't even Cas then," Dean mumbled, not looking up at his brother.

"That makes it even more important. So, was Emmanuel more interesting than Cas was?"

"No! Of course not!" Dean said, eyes lifting to stare right into his brother's eyes.

"You feel guilty about it," Sam said, and Dean shook his head.

"No I don't," he denied, but he did, he couldn't hide that from himself.

"Why him? I mean, he was married Dean."

"Not really. I mean, he was married, but it was only a month thing, and they hadn't consummated it. Emmanuel said he felt strange whenever he was intimate with her, and she didn't mind waiting for him to be comfortable."

"But he was fine with you?" Sam asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Apparently. We were on the road, Meg was out guarding us and we were just... talking, and then I was kissing him, and it was so stupid Sammy, because I kept thinking how much I wanted Cas back, but," the emotions of the night were coming back and Dean didn't like that. Emotions broke a person, and he refused to be broken. "Anyway, he let me, and it all felt right at the time, and then we'd done it and..." he shrugged. "That's it. We haven't done anything since, we haven't even talked about it."

"But Cas has no problem with what happened?" Sam asked.

"Far as I know. Like I just said, we haven't talked about it." Dean shrugged.

"Oh Dean," Sam said, pulling Dean into a fierce hug. For some reason, Dean was alright with that, and he wrapped his arms around his brother and held on tight.

There was silence for a while as they hugged, but when Sammy pulled away, Dean did so too, a bit sad for the lack of contact. "Cas told me to follow the damned bees Sammy," Dean said, shaking his head. "Why the hell would I dream that?"

"I don't know," Sam said, running a hand up and down Dean's arm. "But if it means something, we'll figure it out, right?"

"We have too much shit to figure out Sam, I'm starting to feel like we're never going to figure anything out."

"I know." He lightly patted Dean's arm, then took a step back. "Why did the dream feel so important?"

"Because I would never dream of crazy Cas. Then there was the way the dream ended Sam. It was so sudden, like we each got pulled out of it." He looked up and into his brother's eyes. "Do you think that's something that might have happened? Do you think it was Cas?"

"If it was, then something stopped you two from communicating. Maybe whatever or whoever has him trapped? I'll see if I can't find something on preventing angel mojo." He headed for the door and Dean reached out a hand to stop him.

"Thanks Sammy," he said softly.

"For what?" Sam asked with a frown.

"For being okay with all this," Dean said, trying not to think about how much it would freak him out to find out that his brother was gay. If his brother was gay.

"Yeah Dean, I'm the tolerant one, remember?" he said, the frown becoming a large grin. "Relax."

Somehow, maybe because Sam asked it, Dean did relax, and that felt amazing. If Cas was trying to communicate, Dean would be ready for next time.

#

Crowley was once again relaxing, drinking happily with his feet propped up on a very disobedient demon, watching a nice horror movie, when someone came up from the basement to bother him. He was starting to think that he shouldn't stay around these parts anymore, but he knew that under most circumstances Castiel could get away from many of his demons. It wasn't too hard to believe that the angel could, in fact, leave somehow if Crowley wasn't around to make sure he stayed. Which irritated him, but not so badly that he couldn't deal. Usually by punishing someone.

"What do you want?" Crowley asked as the demon came within talking distance. He raised his eyes to the demon, quite frustrated with him already, and he hadn't even started talking.

"It's the angel sir," the demon said, fidgeting.

"Yes?" Crowley held his gaze and the demon looked away, looked around, then glanced up at Crowley. "I'm not *gaining* patience as I sit here."

"He says he's sick."

"Angels don't get sick love," Crowley sighed. "Leave him alone."

"But sir," the demon started but Crowley narrowed his eyes at him. "It's just... he sounds sick sir."

"Why would an angel get sick then, hmm? Do you think he just ate something wrong? Oh, right, he doesn't eat. Do you think he caught a bug? Right, he isn't around anyone who might be sick!" Crowley snapped. He ground the heels of his shoes into the demon at his feet and she whimpered as the spikes drove into her skin and made her start bleeding.

"Yes sir," the demon muttered, turning to go.

"Get back to your post before he does something else you can't explain," Crowley muttered, and he watched the demon leave.

It was only another fifteen minutes before the demon was back, slinking slowly like he knew how Crowley was going to react to whatever he said. Crowley didn't even bother to look up at him.

"Sir?" the demon whispered and Crowley dug his heels into his demon again.

"Yes?" Crowley asked, voice calm and even. It didn't matter that he already wanted to flay his demons, he could behave properly.

"The angel would like to talk to you sir. He says... he feels ill and he thinks it's your fault." He was still whispering, and Crowley sighed, standing up.

"Fine," he snapped. "But if this turns out to just be a distraction, you're going to be my chair."

The demon nodded and walked very slowly down the stairs. He was so slow that Crowley was down before him, looking in at Castiel who was curled up on himself on the ground and moaning.

"What's your problem Feathers?" Crowley asked, crossing his arms. "I know you can't be sick, you're an angel."

"I think I'm going to vomit," Castiel moaned, and when he looked up at Crowley, Crowley was actually shocked by what he saw. Castiel's face was white and sweaty, and his eyes were horrified. "I have never felt so sick before, not even when I drank that liquor store."

"Liquor... store?" Crowley asked, raising his eyebrows. "You drank a whole store?"

"It was a bad idea, but seemed acceptable at the time. I need... please allow me a bucket or something. While you're at it, a toilet facility would be nice."

"You don't void Feathers," Crowley said, his arms uncrossing. What was wrong with Castiel?

"I understand that, but I feel as though I need to. It is very distressing."

"I can only imagine," Crowley said dryly. "I'm unconvinced though, see I know your constitution and..." but Crowley didn't get to finish, because suddenly Castiel was vomiting, across the floor, and over Crowley's feet. Crowley stared down at his shoes and frowned. "You vomited on my shoes."

"I'm sorry, but I did warn you," Castiel said, taking deep breaths. "Now I would like to request water."

"My shoes... I just had these made." Crowley was a very well dressed demon, because he liked to present the appropriate image. That was what he did, that was who he was. Vomit did not add up to the appropriate image.

"Water?" Castiel moaned again, and Crowley looked at him.

"How do you even have anything to vomit, you don't eat," Crowley asked, irritated.

"I don't know," Castiel said. "But I think I'm going to do it again."

Crowley took a few steps back from the cell. "You must be joking me." How had he made an angel sick? That wasn't possible.

"I know but..." then he was doing it again, and Crowley wrinkled his nose. This was not expected, nor wanted. "Stop eating that!" Castiel finally snapped, looking over at one of the other demons on watch. Crowley looked over at the demon in question. He was eating a pulled pork sandwich. Looked good. "Or I will find some way of smiting you."

Ah. Suddenly it made sense. "Feathers?" Crowley asked, turning to look at Castiel, a smirk forming across his lips. "Feathers, are you having morning sickness?"

"It isn't morning," Castiel muttered, moving his head away from the mess and laying it down on the cement floor.

"I can't just 'get' you a bathroom facility, we'd have to redo the whole area for you." It wasn't like there wasn't a bathroom, just not accessible to the prison.

"I need one," Castiel said, voice firm. "I have been waiting for one day and three hours."

"You..." Crowley paused. "You've needed to go for over a day?" he asked.

"Yes, but it didn't seem possible, so I ignored it. It is not going away though."

"Get something to clean this up with now. Take that sandwich upstairs and finish it later. I want someone to start painting on the bathroom walls and windows," Crowley snapped. He wasn't going to have urine and... anything else smelling up the downstairs, the vomit was bad enough. When no one moved, Crowley glared. "Or do I have to get me some new demons?" Suddenly there was movement all over the place, and he nodded his head. That was what he expected.

Tapping his shoes off on the ground a bit, he shook his head. "You are just full of surprises, aren't you Feathers?" Crowley asked.

"It's the new life," Castiel said, one hand lightly touching his belly. "I do not approve of this part of the creation. Why would God make this so painful when there is so much good to come of the experience?"

"Well God's just a sadist after all. You knew that Feathers, don't deny it."

"He is not like..." but Castiel paused and clamped his mouth shut.

"Yeah." Crowley would figure this out somehow, even if it meant doing work on the cell again.

#

"Dean, I'm not saying we stop trying to find Cas, I'm just saying that we still have to figure out what to do about the Leviathans," Sam said and Dean just kept walking away.

"I don't want to argue with you over this. Cas is most important," Dean grabbed his jacket and began putting it on.

"As I said, I don't disagree," Sam said, reaching out and grabbing Dean's arm. "But we don't have anything new on Cas. We can't just keep hoping we'll get lucky. He's been gone for two weeks now and we don't have anything more to go on."

"What am I supposed to do Sammy?" Dean demanded, turning to look at his brother, his anger boiling under the surface ready to explode. The worry and doubt mixed in with it was almost as bad. "I can't just ignore the fact that Cas is missing, and he's crazy, and someone is holding him captive. What do you think I can do, just move on and forget while we're working on some other project?"

"A project that Cas has already helped us with," Sam reminded Dean. "Don't forget we have his part of what's needed for the ritual. We just need the other two bloods and we can stop this problem, so let's get on it." Dean was about to say something when Bobby flickered into being.

"He's right, you know?" he said, shaking his head.

"Bobby," Dean gasped, looking from him to Sam and back. "Where have you been?"

"Trying to figure out how to hold on to this form you idjit," Bobby said, shaking his head. "It's work you know?"

"So you agree we should focus on the Leviathans, more specifically, Dick," Sam said, and Bobby's angry face was all the answer they needed.

"Yeah, I do," Bobby said, nodding at both of them. "So, what do you have to do next?"

"Well, we still need blood from two fallen's, a fallen human and a fallen beast, which we think means an Alpha and a demon."

"Ruler of fallen humans," Dean said. "Crowley specifically."

"You think you need the blood of Crowley himself?" Bobby said, shaking his head. "Good luck with that."

"Actually," Sam shrugged. "Crowley seems to be in our corner on this one. He's against the Leviathans and wants us to kill them."

"Really?" Bobby looked impressed.

"I think they hurt his feelings," Dean said with a shrug. "You really want to do this?" he asked, looking at Sam. "Really? When we don't know where Cas is, or what's going on with him."

"Really," Sam said, turning to Dean. "I think we should."

Dean dropped his jacket back onto the couch. He didn't want to stay, he wanted to run around aimlessly looking for Cas some more, but Sam was right, they had a problem on their hands and had to do something about it. "Fine," he said. "Let's do this then."

*

When Crowley left, Sam looked at Dean. "Did he just offer us angel blood?" he asked.

"Yeah, I think so," Dean said, frowning at the charred address on their table. "What does that mean?"

"I don't know, but something was off," Sam whispered. "Did Crowley seem... too confident?"

"Too smug," Dean agreed. "What the hell?"

"I think he's got Cas," Bobby said suddenly from behind them.

"Yeah," Sam nodded. "Or at least, I think he knows about him."

"If he knows about him, he's got him, or knows who does," Dean shook his head. "That's not good."

"Or it's really good," Sam argued. "He wouldn't kill Cas, because he's angry with him. So Cas is alive, and probably we can get him back, after we take care of these Leviathans."

"Or that's the favor," Dean protested. "Stay away from him until he's ready. We can't take that chance Sammy, we have to get to Cas before we deal with Dick."

For a moment it looked like Sam was going to protest, but then he nodded. "Fine. We'll try, but if we can't..."

"We'll put Crowley in a fucking Devil's Trap and force the answer out of him," Dean said, crossing his arms. "He's still a damned demon, we know how to deal with those, and Crowley's always been real careful about his life. We've got the knife, so we can take care of him that way."

The two of them stared at each other for a while, then finally Sam nodded. "Okay. Okay. Alpha first."

#

Castiel didn't need to sleep, that was the rumor, but over the last few days Castiel had to deal with all manner of things he was not used to. He ate now, a little bit, but enough that he had to use the bathroom, not just to vomit in. Smells were heightened, and he was moody. He loved the life inside of him, could feel it growing, could feel the strong beat of its heart against his belly, but it was making him so sick!

As he lay down on his cot he took several deep breaths and placed a hand on his stomach. This life was most important to him right now, and he wasn't about to let Crowley keep it. Not a chance.

"Hey, you aren't supposed to sleep," one of the demons said, walking up to the door.

"I have to close my eyes for a few moments," Castiel sighed. "I'm tired."

"You're an angel, you don't get tired."

"I'm pregnant you moron!" Castiel snapped, opening his eyes and lifting his head enough to stare at the demon in question. "My body is undergoing significant physical changes because I am in a male vessel which does not normally have the ability to host new life. If you piss me off I'll call for Crowley again!" He'd had to call for Crowley three times this past week and he could see that Crowley was losing patience with him, with his demons, with the whole damned situation. Which made him more likely to make a mistake, or so Castiel hoped.

The demons looked at each other, and then the one at the door moved back to his table. "Fine, but if you're asleep too long, I'm coming in there to wake you up."

"Be my guest," Castiel said, lying back down. He had to get to sleep quickly so he could get into Dean's head as fast as possible.

Two breaths and he was under, walking through the fog again. Dean was closer somehow, maybe because the life inside of Castiel was stronger, and that made it easier to reach its other parent. Castiel wondered if they were going to have a boy or a girl. Either would be fine, but Jimmy had a girl child, so Castiel already had some knowledge of what to do with one of those. A boy would be more difficult, although Dean was a boy, and he could probably do a good job of raising a little boy, being one himself. Castiel smiled, then shook his head. He had to slip into Dean's dreams.

Dreams Dean was not having. Nightmare though, that was more accurate. Dean didn't have those very often, but when he did they were always horrible. People dying, Hell, that sort of thing. Castiel slipped right into the dream and wrapped himself around Dean, pulling him off of the block and healing his tattered mind.

"Cas?" Dean whispered, dream self whole and able to move, no longer screaming. "Cas, what's going on?"

"I raised you from perdition Dean, you should not be dreaming about it anymore. That time is past." Castiel moved away enough that Dean could look him in the eyes. "I will never let you fall again, if I can do anything to stop it." Castiel meant every word.

"It wasn't your fault in the first place," Dean said, shaking his head and placing it against Castiel's shoulder. "Where are you Cas?"

"I am trapped by demons, in a warehouse, somewhere south I believe," Castiel said quickly. He knew he was on limited time, but he needed to get the information out.

"What?" Dean asked, backing away. "This isn't a dream?"

"Of course it's a dream silly," Castiel said, quirking his lips up in a smile and placing his finger on Dean's nose. "I just happen to be here as well."

"This is really you?" Dean lifted his hand and lightly stroked his fingers across Castiel's cheek. "Who's got you?"

"Demons. They don't want me," Castiel said. "They're after the new life."

Dean shook his head. "What are you talking about?"

Now Castiel was confused. Hadn't he already told Dean about their baby? Yes, he had, the day he'd be captured, before that, he'd been in the Impala and told Dean about the new life. "I told you about this Dean," Castiel said. "I told you about our -" but he didn't get to finish, because he was back in his body again, wet and shivering once more.

"Feathers," Crowley said gently. "This is unacceptable."

Shivering, Castiel looked up at the demon and wished, not for the first time, that he had the desire to hurt him. Well, not the desire, but the will. "You are going to make me truly sick if you keep this up," he said.

"You were asleep again," Crowley warned. "You don't do that or I get rough."

"I cannot help it," Castiel said, shaking his head. "I am more... physical. I have needs I did not before, and I am *tired*!"

"I told you that's what he said," a demon said on the other side of the door, and Castiel turned to look at him. It was the one who had let him get to sleep. "I told him if he was asleep too long, I'd wake him."

"He did, he told me," Castiel said, then he shivered again and Crowley seemed to consider that for a time. "I'm going to freeze."

"No you won't, you're an angel. Please, a little water won't hurt you." Then Crowley was leaving the room and a few towels were being tossed to him again. "Stay awake Feathers, I'd hate to have to wet you down again."

Maybe Castiel would break the vow of nonviolence he'd sworn several months ago? He could do that, for Crowley, right?

#

This time when Dean woke up, he wasn't confused. Instead he was angry. Demons had Cas, and they were going to pay.

He hopped out of bed and tossed on clothes. It was four in the morning again, but he wanted food. Food would be good. Out of the room, into the kitchen, grab last nights leftovers, eat it as fast as he could while looking up the bottom half of the United States on the laptop. He had to find Cas.

When Sam came out an hour later he ran a hand through his hair and looked at Dean. "What's up?"

"I dreamed about Cas again," Dean said. "He told me he was being held by demons somewhere south."

"South?" Sam went over to the fridge and took out the jug of milk he'd bought. "Did he know what state?"

"I'm not sure what state he's in," Dean said, smirking a little at his own pun.

There was resounding silence, then, "That wasn't funny."

"Whatever, so no, he doesn't. All he said was demons, warehouse, south." Dean looked up at his brother. "So I've made a list of all the states I'd consider south and I thought we could start checking their news articles."

"For what?" Sam asked, sitting down. "Anything strange?"

"That's right. If Crowley is there then something is going on. Maybe there's some kind of omen or freak storm or something. Anything we can use. We've got the Alpha's blood, we just need Crowley's and I'm not summoning him until we have Cas."

"I know Dean, it just feels so..."

"We've gone on more with less," Dean said. "The dream wasn't very long, someone's ganking him out of my head, so we've got to figure this out quickly or he'll stop being able to come at all."

"Alright," Sam sighed. "What do we have?"

*

They were in Alabama by the end of the week. News reports said something about some strange deaths, so the brothers were there with suits on. Didn't take much to see that for certain, the deaths were caused by hell hounds.

After some debate, they decided to summon the crossroads demon and deal with her or him directly. They put up the appropriate precautions, then found the crossroads and summoned. It seemed to take forever before the demon arrived, and when he did, he stayed appropriately far from the two of them.

"What on earth can I do for you two boys?" he asked, crossing his arms and looking at them closely.

"We'd like a word," Sam said. "You've got some deals here, and we think that you should cut that shit out."

"Acting brave," the demon said, walking closer. "That's not why you're in town though." He began to circle them and Dean wanted to just plunge the knife into him, feel his energy flicker and fade completely in his grasp.

"Isn't it?" Dean asked, forcing his fingers to not slip into his jacket just yet. "How would you know?"

"I can tell, you see crossroads demons are very in tune to certain... behaviors, energies, desires. For instance," he looked over at Dean, and the red in his eyes flickered for a moment before his eyes returned to human brown. "You're looking for someone."

"You can tell that?" Dean scoffed. Anyone would be able to tell that Sam and Dean were looking for someone when they arrived in a town. That was no big feat.

"Not just someone, someone close to you, someone you care about. It isn't a random search." He walked closer to Dean and Dean backed up. Another few steps and the demon would be trapped. "Who are you looking for Dean? All your friends are dead besides Sam."

"Not true," Sam said, moving away as well. "We've got plenty of friends."

"Do you? None of them are this kind of close. This is a very special close, intimate close. You don't have lots of those."

"You can find this person for us? No matter where they are?" Dean asked, trying to bait the demon.

"Even if they're locked up in a dungeon." He returned his gaze to Dean and Dean felt a shiver go through him. It was such a personal look, so... it was like the demon was checking him out.

"And all it would cost is my soul?" Dean asked. "I don't like those odds."

"We could trade favor for favor, but I doubt you'd like any favor I'd ask of you," the demon said with a smirk.

"Wait, I thought it was always souls you bartered away," Sam said with a frown.

"That's the job," the demon nodded. "That doesn't mean there aren't other options, if one is working in their free time."

Dean stared at him. Could they trade something for something in order to find out about Cas? Should they? "You would do a trade? Information for what?"

"Like I said, I can't tell you that now, but you probably won't like it in the future." He took a step closer to Dean and then Dean smiled.

"Got you," he said, stepping the rest of the way out of the devil's trap. The demon looked down at his feet and then scuffed some of the dirt away from the ground. Underneath him was a large piece of wood.

"You must be joking," he said, looking up at Dean.

"Nope. Burned into the wood, buried in the ground. You guys are starting to know all of our tricks, so..." Dean shrugged. "We had to come up with some new ones."

"Ingenious, I'm so proud," the demon sighed, slouching. "What do you want?"

"Information," Dean said with a shrug. "You give us the right bits, and we'll even let you keep your contracts."

"Well," Sam shrugged himself. "Maybe."

"Alright," the demon glared. "Fine, what do you want to know?"

"We want to know where a demon warehouse might be located, here," Dean said.

"Who's the demon you're looking for?"

"I'm guessing Crowley," Dean said, crossing his arms.

There was silence for a time, then the demon shook his head. "I can't help you with that. Unless you make a deal, and I expect the full soul on this one, I can't give you anything."

"Or you won't," Sam said, walking around to stand near his brother.

"Either way, kill me if you have to, I can't help you. You do realize Crowley's my boss, right? Not just that, he's been my boss for hundreds of years now. If it's one thing you don't do, it's fuck with your boss."

"He's right Dean," Sam said with a shrug. "We should just kill him."

"I don't know Sammy," Dean pulled out a flask of holy water and tossed it on the demon, making him scream out. "I could have some fun first."

"You do realize we've been leaving you two alone all year, right? Doesn't that count for something?" the demon cried out.

"It only counts when you keep your hands off of everything that belongs to me," Dean said, turning his full, hard, gaze on the demon. "You see, you're right, something of mine is missing. Some *one* of mine. This person is important to me, and I'm not going to stop looking for him until I find him, and if that means I have to torture a few demons, well," Dean shrugged. "I like doing that anyway."

"I was right," the demon said, a small smile flashing across his face. "You are looking."

"Yeah you sack of worthless bricks, you were right, I'm looking for someone. That someone got nabbed by demons, so I'm going to find him."

"How do you know he got nabbed by demons?" the demon asked and Dean tossed more holy water on him.

"I know, alright?" Dean said.

The demon watched Dean for a few minutes then shook his head. "You have got to be joking me. That's impossible."

Dean narrowed his eyes, but it was Sam who asked, "What's impossible?"

"The Leviathans ate the angel up, Castiel's dead, you can't be looking for him." The demon looked between both Sam and Dean for a time as Dean tried to come up with a smart ass comment to show that *wasn't* who they were looking for.

"They did. Cas is gone," Sam said evenly and Dean was glad for it, because apparently, for the moment, Dean couldn't lie.

"But you're looking for him anyway. So, a soul for the truth?"

"No deal, but we'll take the truth anyway," Dean said.

"It doesn't work that way, and you know it. The deal has to be struck before -" but then the demon went silent and looked past them.

"Hello boys," Crowley said from behind them, and swearing internally, Dean turned to look at Crowley. "This is bad business you know? Here I have been, being all kinds of nice to you two, and you've got one of mine trapped. What sort of image are we projecting here?"

"Infighting," Dean said, crossing his arms. "One of your own took someone important to me."

"Oh?" Crowley asked, raising his eyebrows. "Well, that is dire indeed. Who was it, let's see about getting your plaything back."

"It doesn't work like that Crowley," Sam said. "We're pretty sure you're the one who took him."

"Why I would never, Moose," Crowley said, looking horrified. "Who could I possibly steal from you?"

"Castiel," the crossroads demon said. "They think you have Castiel."

Well, so much for surprise. Dean nodded at Crowley. "Where's Cas?" he demanded.

"Dead, last I heard," Crowley said. "Is that not true?"

"It's not true, and you know it," Dean said. "You give him back or I'll -" but Dean stopped at the look on Crowley's face.

"Or you'll what Dean?" he asked, glaring so fiercely the red was creeping into his eyes. "You'll smite me? You'll kill me with that dagger of yours? You'll bore me to death? Please! If Castiel isn't dead then I intend to find him and repay him for the humiliation that he brought down upon me! If I had him -" but he didn't get to finish that sentence, because suddenly he was gone.

#

"- I wouldn't be holding him, I'd be... damn," Crowley finished off eloquently, looking around. He was not in Alabama anymore.

"Crowley," Dick Roman said, and Crowley looked over at the man. "We have so much to talk about."

Well, this was going to fuck all Crowley's plans up. Damn, and things were starting to go so well too. He'd lose his angel, he just knew his demons wouldn't be able to keep things up without help, they practically needed Crowley's permission to wipe their own asses.

He looked around, then looked up at the ceiling. A beautifully drawn devil's trap was glowing from the lights above. "I see," he said with a sigh. Now how to do this quickly, but efficiently? Crowley had no idea.

#

Castiel could feel the difference in the air when he awoke from his five minute nap. He could only take them in increments of five, or the demons got restless. It wasn't ever enough, and he was starting to really feel exhausted. Things were so bad with his body that he was beginning to wonder if he was going to fall asleep one day and simply refrain from waking up, no matter what they did, until he was fully rested.

For the moment though, there was a slight buzz of excitement to the air, something had happened. Sitting up, he looked outside the bars and said, "Can I get some water please?" Sometimes Castiel didn't know why he continued to be polite to the demons, it wasn't like they were ever polite to him in return.

As expected, one of the demons gathered a pitcher of water and opened the door to hand it to Castiel. He was nervous though, unsettled, and Castiel brought the water to his cup and poured it in, drinking as he watched the demons.

It only took half the day for him to determine that Crowley was missing. He suspected earlier, when they walked him to the bathroom and left him in there without watching him. Crowley always made certain that someone was watching Castiel, as though he thought Castiel would do something to the windows if he wasn't watched, which of course, Castiel did the moment he was left alone.

He got the absolute fact though when he was back in his cell and reading about knitting again and the demons were talking.

"He's not back yet," One said.

"Where did he go?" Two piped in. Castiel liked to call them one and two and three and four, because they weren't really smart and Castiel liked numbers. He had considered calling them pink, blue, purple and yellow, but the colors didn't really make sense, and he didn't want to get confused.

Three shrugged and said, "If we knew that, we could go to him. He's probably tired of this shit already. Don't know what he wants an angel child for though, that just sounds horrible."

"It doesn't matter what he wants it for," One said. "He wants it, so we keep the angel safe."

"Safe as we can. How long do you think he'll be gone?" That was Four, she didn't talk much.

"However long he needs to. Maybe he's testing us?" Two asked.

"If that's so," One said with a frown. "Then we don't mess up."

"Even if it's not so, we don't mess up," Two crossed his arms at One.

So, Crowley was missing and the demons didn't know why, or to where. That was good news, Castiel might be able to get away now. He hadn't eaten yet, but he'd had something to drink. Castiel liked making decisions on what to eat. Sometimes he got elaborate, and that irritated both the demons and Crowley so he took any food craving he had and made it as obnoxious as he could. Small victories were all he had to live with.

Speaking of food cravings... "Hey, can I have some vanilla ice cream on top of some Reese's?" he asked. He wanted some chocolate.

"You just wait angel," Two said, and Castiel shrugged.

"It just sounds so good," he sighed, leaning back in his bunk.

"What are you doing?" One asked, standing up.

"Nap, I'm tired. Perhaps when I wake up you will get me that ice cream." Castiel closed his eyes and when he opened them again he asked to go to the bathroom once more.

He was left alone, which was great, because that meant they still didn't want to watch him. Instead of sitting on the toilet he went over to the window again and looked carefully at it. Yes, the small smudge he made before in the spray paint hadn't been noticed, or if it had, it hadn't been fixed. Taking a knitting needle he reached over to the window and made the smudge more detailed, wrecking one of the angel sigils but not touching it directly.

Two minutes went by before he managed to ruin just enough for himself to send out power. He knew he would only get one chance, so he considered what to do to get Dean's attention. Whatever he did had to be so big that he would see it from wherever in the U.S. he was currently. Then he smiled, a slow, big, smile. Of course. Dean would never mistake that.

Reaching out his power quickly, he rushed along the industry, searched for the bees, and gave them all a taste of him. Fields and fields, flowers and bushes and every blooming thing lit up brightly with fresh, renewed energy and life. The bees were drunk on his power, and he left a strand of it flowing to the warehouse. That was all he could do, but it was enough. He hoped it was enough.

"Hey, you done in there?" One asked, and Castiel returned to the toilet, slouching down onto it in exhaustion. He only had so much energy at the moment, as his body was changing for the baby.

"No," he called out, finally using the facilities.

He was washing his hands when he collapsed on the floor, too tired to move.

#

In their abandoned house, Dean and Sam got the generator up and running, and somehow managed light. They rock, paper, scissors'd for the bigger room and Sam won again, so Dean took the funky smelling room but he stole the laptop. He wanted to spend some time on it before he went to sleep, and not for porn as Sam suggested all the time.

Crowley had simply disappeared on them, and he didn't know what that meant. It could mean all kinds of things, someone summoned him, someone ... well, summoned him. Dean realized it could only really mean that one thing after all, but he was willing to bet that Crowley disappearing on them wasn't good.

He'd been talking about what he'd do if he found out that Cas was alive, and Dean was pretty sure, still, that Crowley had Cas. What did that mean exactly? Dean didn't know, but he did know that Crowley wasn't fooling him. He also knew that he would nab that son of a bitch one way or another. Maybe he'd force the blood from Crowley, that would be fun.

Turning on the laptop and doing a general search for weird things, his eyes caught on a news report from Texas. Apparently all the flora ripened and bloomed suddenly, everything, even things out of season. This meant that the wildlife was acting strange, specifically the bees. Wait... Dean read further. The bees were working over time, and even seemed to be heading in a straight, arrow line towards a few abandoned buildings in the old warehouse district of... Dean felt a cold smile forming on his lips.

This was it. This was Cas sending out a message to him. Cas always talked about the bees, he'd know that Dean would recognize the sign. Picking up the laptop, Dean ran over to Sam's room.

"Hey, we gotta talk," he said, opening the door, and then pausing in the doorway. "Damnit Sammy, can't you wait until I'm asleep to do that shit?" Dean complained.

Sam blushed bright red and pulled his hand up and away from his dick. "Sorry, I try to get more sleep than you do."

"We've got to move," Dean said. "First light, I know where we're going."

"Where?" Sam asked, pretending that he hadn't just been playing with himself and tossing his sleeping bag over his legs.

"Texas. There's a sudden influx of growing flora." Dean grinned, waiting for Sam to catch on.

"Okay, that's strange, but?"

"The bees are acting up, working wildly, and apparently they're all on a trek to the warehouse district nearby where all the plants went in bloom."

"Oh, yeah, that's good Dean," Sam said, nodding his head. "So you think that's a signal from Cas."

"I know it is. First thing in the morning Sammy," Dean said, frowning at his brother. "Butt crack of dawn."

"Yeah, good deal, you'll wake me up."

"You can bet on it." Then he turned to leave. "Have fun with yourself there Sammy," he said, closing the door on a complaint from his brother.

He'd get Cas back again. It was what he wanted, what he needed, so why was he so nervous about it?

#

Castiel didn't know when he had been moved to his room again, he wasn't even aware of going from exhausted slumber into normal sleep, but when he found he was traveling the pathways of the mind he knew he had to get to Dean. Surely Dean was out here somewhere, he needed to be close to him. He was so tired, so exhausted, and he just wanted Dean to hold him.

Walking through the fog, he located Dean quickly enough, and he was in his dream before Dean was even in a dream state. That made it easy to alter Dean's dream to accommodate himself and Dean together. He made it Bobby's house, the room Dean slept in, both of them on the bed. Castiel put himself in Dean's arms and he felt them hold him tight, and he liked that.

"Cas?" Dean's soft voice asked, and Castiel nodded.

"Dean," he said, pleased. "I have missed your presence."

"We've met twice in dreams," Dean said, running his hand down Castiel's side. "Or was it only two for me?"

"No, it was two for both of us. Things have been tiring. I am not used to needing sleep, or food, or the bathroom. Human's have such... strange bodies, and it is not pleasant sometimes to be in them."

"Yeah Cas, but you... you're not a human, you're an angel."

"I know. My body is changing though, because of the new life." He took a deep breath of Dean scented air, and enjoyed the heady scent of musk, the sweat damp aroma that he remembered so well. Dreams were only what you wanted them to be, so his scent memory was exactly what he decided it would be.

"Yeah, Cas, about that, look, I have no idea what you're talking about," Dean said, shaking his head. "But we'll talk when I see you. I'm coming first thing in the morning, okay? We got the message, the bees'll lead us to you, and we're going to get you out."

Castiel sighed and closed his eyes. "Good. I was hoping you would understand."

"I got it Cas, loud and clear." Dean kissed his head and squeezed Castiel tight. "I can't wait to see you again, for real, you know?"

"Yes, I cannot wait either. I want you to feel it." Castiel didn't think that there was any movement that Dean could feel yet, but still, having Dean's body, his energy, right above the new life might forge a bond between Dean and his child. Castiel would like that.

"Feel what? Oh... um... Cas, I don't think we should... you know, I..."

Castiel looked up at Dean in confusion. "You don't think what?" he asked, and Dean flushed.

"I think we need to talk before we have sex again," Dean managed, but Castiel could tell that was hard for him.

"Oh, I see. Well, I believe I will have an increased libido in a few weeks, perhaps we can do it then?" He thought he would like having sex with Dean once more. Sex was quite enjoyable.

"A few weeks? Oh, you mean you think that you'll be over being trapped by then? Look, we don't have to rush."

"No, I have read books now, Crowley has gotten them for me. I do not know how much will transfer being that I have a male vessel, but I think it said at thirteen weeks I could experience an increased sex drive." Castiel nodded happily. "I'll be happy to be over the morning sickness, although I don't know why it is called morning sickness when it happens all day long."

There was some silence for a bit, then Dean said very slowly. "Cas? What are you talking about?"

"The new life," he said, looking up at Dean. "I told you, remember? We have created life, you and I." Castiel reached for one of Dean's hands and he brought it down to his belly. "I should be showing soon."

"No," Dean whispered, his eyes going wide. "That's impossible."

"No, improbable. Two males having a child is impossible if both are human, but I am an angel," Castiel gently reminded Dean.

"But you're... well... male."

"No, my vessel is male. As you recall, I was able to enter Claire, and she was decidedly female." Castiel remembered that experience. He didn't think he would want to be trapped forever in a female body, but it could be worse. Besides, he knew he would hate being trapped in a *young* female body.

"Right, that still equals male in my book." Dean's eyes were wide, and Castiel shrugged.

"I cannot help it that our powers have intertwined to produce a life between us. That is how things work sometimes. It is forbidden for Angels to have children with humans, but in this case it was divine intervention of some variety, as neither of us had a choice in the matter." Castiel felt that was a good thing, because he wanted the life, he wanted to know that he would always have a bit of Dean, even once Dean crumbled to dust and became nothing more than a memory or a soul in Heaven.

"And you said Crowley has you? Why? He told us he didn't know you were alive and that if he did, he'd hunt you down to kill you or torture you."

"I assume that once the baby is born he will try to torture me. He wants our child, but Dean," Castiel looked firmly at Dean. "I will not allow him to raise our child, I promise."

"I think... this is too much for me to handle right now."

"That's fine," Castiel said, slipping his head against Dean's firm chest once more and closing his eyes. "I just want to be here with you anyway."

"Yeah," Dean said, shaking his head. "Me too." Dean didn't move his hand away from Castiel's stomach though, and when Castiel woke up, he felt refreshed for the first time since he'd been captured. Dean was coming, and that made the day so much brighter.

#

Dean didn't bother to tell Sam about his dream the next day. He just woke up, got started packing, and then headed out to put things in the car. More and more he missed the Impala, the black seats, the space available to them, the set up in the trunk. "Baby," he whispered. "Someday we'll ride around again together, someday."

Back in the house he grabbed some food and started setting things out. When Sam came to the kitchen his hair was a mess and he looked like he hadn't gotten much sleep. "What's the matter Sammy?" Dean asked with a grin. "Didn't relieve the tension last night?" 

"Shut up," Sam said, sitting down and grabbing some food. "I had a hard time sleeping."

"Why?" Dean raised his eyebrows. "You should have slept like a baby."

"Yeah, I know. I didn't though. So, Texas?"

They spent the rest of the time discussing routes and then they were up and out.

*

"That's the place alright," Dean said, passing the binoculars to his brother. The trail of bees headed right for a window that Dean could see angel sigils on. Was that a window Cas looked out of on a regular basis? What did Cas see when he looked out? Not nature, what he was searching for all the time these days. That just made him more angry, and he reached into his jacket to pull out the knife.

"Yeah," Sam agreed. "Looks like. So, through the front door?"

"Think that's the best idea. They aren't expecting a full frontal attack, and Crowley's gone so this is our chance." He looked over at Sam. "You good?"

"Absolutely. We should cross out any sigils we find on the way, just to make sure Cas can leave."

"I've got spray paint in the trunk." Dean slid over to the car and popped the trunk, taking out two spray paint cans and tossing one to Sam. "I'll distract, you come from behind."

"Deal."

Distracting the front guards was easy, and the two of them were heading in quickly. The warehouse was basically one large empty room with demons wandering around. There was a set of stairs leading down off to one side and a set of stairs leading up on the other side. As soon as they walked in they were noticed and Dean headed for the stairs up, trying to split the demons into groups.

It worked, several went after him, several after Sam. He led his on a merry chase through the upper level, pushing boxes and crates towards them as he ran. Once he had one alone, he began kicking and punching, knocking him unconscious and moving on to the next. Glancing down, he noticed Sam doing similar things, getting one alone and killing him before moving on. Dean managed to toss the last one over the railing and then he was heading back down to Sam.

"That it?" he asked leaving the stairs and walking to Sam, looking at the littered bodies on the way.

"It?" Sam asked, raising his eyebrows. "Seriously?" Sam was cut in several places and bruised in others.

"Well," Dean shrugged. He had noticed a lot of sigils on the walls as he'd come over to Sam. "We're going to run out of paint," he said.

"Let's check downstairs, see if we can't get Cas, maybe he can make it easier for us to know which ones need to be crossed out."

Nodding, Dean headed for the stairs down. He walked slowly down, keeping his gaze alert. Glancing around the bottom corner, he saw a large cell where Castiel was being kept, and there was a demon with Cas in his arms, a knife to Cas' stomach. Cas' eyes were wide and actually frightened, but he wasn't struggling which just made Dean's heart ache. If only Cas would fight... but then again, with all the sigils on the wall, maybe he couldn't?

Three other demons were around the room, one of them near the stairs, the other two further back, but all of them were armed, and with guns no less. Dean slipped back and motioned for his brother to head back up. Once they were at the top, Dean shook his head.

"They've got Cas in a cell, there are four demons, one at the bottom of the stairs, two in back, and one with Cas, knife to his stomach. The three outside all have guns, of all things."

"Why would they have a knife to Cas' stomach? He would just heal from that kind of wound," Sam said, and Dean sighed.

"Yeah, he might, but what he's carrying might not." Dean didn't want to have this conversation right now. "Look, suffice it to say, we can't let that knife go into Cas' belly, okay? I can't explain what I don't really understand right now, so just go with me on this."

"Okay," Sam shook his head. "So how do you want to do this?"

"I think I should go and surrender, while I've got them distracted, you should exorcise them."

"You think that's a good idea?" Sam asked. "They'll tell whoever's got Cas."

"That would be Crowley, I have it on good authority," Dean said with a nod. "Just like we thought."

"You have it on who's authority?" Sam frowned, and Dean glared.

"Look, can we just get Cas, then we can talk about this later, okay?"

"Fine, but this conversation isn't over."

"Fine." Dean reached for the knife and took it, heading down the stairs and right out into the open with his hands up.

"Dean!" Cas said, looking over at him with wide eyes. All of the demons were on edge, and they had their guns pointed right at him.

"Easy," Dean said, one hand opening, the other one showing off the knife. "I just want to talk, no fighting."

"You did plenty of fighting," one of the demons said. "Give me the knife and we can talk."

Dean offered the knife and the demon reached to take it. It was slow, very slow, but when he was close enough, Dean switched his hold on the blade and shoved it into the demon. Shots rang out, but Dean kept the demon between himself and the other two. "Now Sammy!" he said, and the sound of Latin came from the bottom of the stairs.

Dean backed up a few steps and when the guns stopped firing, he looked over the body in his arms, just moments before black smoke began filling the room and rushing out of it. Bodies dropped and Dean tossed his to the side, running into the cell and wrapping his arms around Cas.

"Cas? You okay?" he asked, and Cas' arms clung to him, his face buried in Dean's chest.

"Yes, oh, yes Dean, it is good to see you in person again."

"Cas?" Sam said, coming around and into the cage as well. "How are you feeling?"

"Horrible. My back aches, I think I am going to vomit, and they never brought me the ice cream I asked for." Cas moved his head to look at Sam. "But I believe the cramping will stop in a week or two."

"What?" Sam asked, looking over at Dean. "What's he talking about?"

"We'll talk about it later," Dean said, shaking his head.

"Well, well, what a mess we've got here," a voice said from behind them, and when they all turned to look, Crowley was stepping over a body and walking towards them. "If it isn't the Winchesters with my angel."

#

Upon seeing Crowley, Castiel backed out of Dean's arms and headed for the back of the room. Crowley *felt* like those Leviathans and it made Castiel's skin crawl.

"Crowley," Dean said, turning fully to look at the demon. "What a surprise."

"Not really," Sam said, shaking his head. "So, how many times have you lied to us now?"

"Oh lord, who's counting?" Crowley asked, shaking his head. "I think you'd have a better time counting how many times I've told you the truth, to be honest. What are you doing here boys?"

"Getting Cas free," Dean said, and Castiel wanted to return to his arms, if only he could.

"You can't have Feathers. Not till he's delivered, but once he has, you can have him back, free of charge."

"You sick son of a bitch," Dean swore, crossing his arms. "What the hell do you want with a half angel, half human child?"

"The half angel part," Crowley said, smiling. "Plenty of power, and I always wanted a child."

"You had one," Sam said, looking at Dean before looking back at Crowley. "You messed that up. I don't think you should have a second chance." Then he looked at Dean and whispered, "What's he talking about?"

"Later," Dean whispered back, and Castiel wondered why Dean hadn't talked to Sam about the new life.

"Crowley," Castiel finally managed to say, moving away from the wall now that his heart had stopped pounding so fiercely in his chest. "We need to discuss this, I think."

"There's nothing to discuss. The boys go away, you stay."

"No, see, we can kill you, then we can take your blood and take Cas out. Or, you know, we'll just leave Dick around," Dean said, crossing his arms.

"You can't take my blood after I'm dead, it'll just be human at that point," Crowley shrugged. There was something unsettled about him, and Castiel nodded at Crowley.

"You made a deal with them, didn't you?" Castiel asked. "I can feel them in the air around you."

"What?" Dean asked, looking from Castiel to Crowley.

"Yes, I did. It was very unsatisfactory business, although the deal he offered me was quite a good one." Crowley smiled. "I took it, of course."

"Double crossing us Crowley?" Dean asked, glaring at the demon.

"It's what all the cool kids are doing," he said, looking at Castiel, and that horrible guilt he felt for hurting Crowley crept into the pit of Castiel's stomach. He shouldn't feel guilty for double crossing Crowley, but he did. "He offered me a deal, and my end of the bargain is to give you this vial of blood, and tell you it's mine." Crowley pulled out a vial and looked at it shining in the light.

"So, is it yours or not?" Sam asked.

"Oh, it's mine," Crowley said with a smile. "Dick wanted me to give you one filled with another demon's blood."

"Why should we trust you?" Dean asked, reaching for the vial, which Crowley gave right over.

"Oh god, please, don't trust me, don't trust anyone, I learned that from my last business partner," he said, glancing at Castiel again. The guilt was worse now. "However, you have something I want."

"What?" Sam asked, moving over to Castiel and putting an arm around him. The comfort of that touch was amazing, and Castiel leaned into it gently, feeling the love and devotion Sam had for him sink into his body. "And you can't say Cas, because you can't have him."

"Something more than Cas and his precious cargo. Meg Masters," Crowley smiled. "I know you know where she is. I want her." No, Castiel pursed his lips. Not Meg!

"What do you want with Meg," Dean asked and Castiel could see that Dean was considering the offer.

"She was on the wrong side remember? She's an enemy, so basically I want to torture her for a long time, not that it's any of your business per say. I'm sure you understand."

"I don't want you to hurt Meg," Castiel said, standing up straight, but not leaving Sam's arms.

"Oh, isn't that sweet? You have more than one partner do you? You have my blood, I'll collect Meg after the Leviathans are taken care of." Crowley shrugged.

"And what do you want for Cas?" Dean asked, pocketing the blood but keeping his gaze steady on Crowley.

"You can't have Feathers," Crowley said.

"Then we'll be fighting you," Dean said, holding up the blade.

Crowley watched Dean silently for a moment, then shrugged. "Fine," he said. "I do want you to kill Dick for me so I suppose I'll have to let him go. Especially since you're going to need Cas to kill him."

Castiel could feel his heart sinking. He couldn't help, he just couldn't. Surely Dean and Sam wouldn't ask it of him, of a pregnant man, right? Castiel looked up at Sam but Sam was already moving away, spray painting the sigils on the walls.

"You are not going to lay another finger on Cas," Dean said, voice steady.

"No, I suppose I will have to wait until later," he agreed. "But I want Meg when this is all over."

"Fine," Dean said.

"Dean!" Cas protested. "I owe her, we cannot give her to Crowley!"

"Cas, not now," Dean's voice was hard, and Castiel flinched from it. Was he angry? Was he angry at Castiel?

"Then I suppose you should go," Crowley said, disappearing.

#

They called Meg on the way back to Rufus' cabin, and told her to meet them there. Cas was in the backseat, lying across the seat with his eyes closed. Apparently he was exhausted. Dean didn't know what to do about the situation. Crowley said that Cas was needed, Crowley wanted Meg, and Cas was pregnant. Even Crowley was tooting to that tune, and if an angel and a demon agreed on that one thing, Dean felt he should be more willing to believe it.

They were half way there when Sam looked over at him. "Are we going to talk about this?" he asked, and Dean shook his head.

"Not if I can help it," he said.

"Dean, Cas is pregnant. Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't know, hell, I'm not even sure I believe it." It was hard not to, but hard to, and Dean wished the situation would just go away.

"Are you the father?" Sam asked and Dean turned to glare at him.

"That's what Cas says, look, it doesn't make sense, right? Cas is a fucking angel, he shouldn't be capable of getting pregnant."

"But he is."

"According to him and Crowley, yes."

Sam sighed and looked back out the window. "Then he is. There's no reason why both of them would lie to you about this."

"What the hell are we going to do with a baby?" Dean asked, shaking his head. "I can't be a father."

"You'd make a good father Dean," Sam said softly and Dean gripped the steering wheel more tightly.

"No, I'm a terrible father." He had only gotten to be Ben's father for one year, but he hadn't been very good at it.

They didn't talk again until they were at the cabin.

*

"I am much relieved, thank you," Cas said, walking into the cabin and sitting at the table. "Is there food? I believe I'm hungry."

"Cas, you're an angel..." Dean started, but at the look Cas gave him, Dean shut his mouth.

"I am providing nutrients for our new life Dean. It requires food."

"I think there's something in the fridge I can get," Sam said, walking into the kitchen.

Dean went over to Cas and sat down next to him. "This really isn't a joke?" he asked, and Cas tilted his head to one side.

"Do you wish it was?" Cas asked gently.

"I don't know Cas, I mean... a baby, that's a big deal, right? And I'm still having a hard time believing it's true."

"You believe in angels, and demons, why is this not the same sort of thing?" Cas asked.

"Because I've seen those things, I know they're real."

"Then when I begin to show, you will know that this child is real?" Cas asked, and Dean shook his head.

"Maybe."

Cas reached out and took Dean's hand, moving it to his belly. Dean could feel there was a small roundness to it that wasn't there before. "This is the new life Dean. Do you feel it? It's heart is pounding so hard because it wants to live. It knows you are its father, it can feel that when you're close, like I can feel when you are close. This is real, this is happening. It is wonderful, and you will be good to it. You already love it."

"Cas..." Dean protested, fingers lightly gripping the space where the baby might be. "I just... this is so far outside my realm of knowledge."

"I understand," Cas nodded, then he looked up with a pleased smile. "Food!" he said as Sam came into the room and offered Cas a bowl of salad and a banana. "Thank you Sam."

"Sure Cas. You want some Dean? There's more."

"No," Dean shook his head, removing his hand from Cas' belly and sitting back. "Is there a beer in there though?"

"Yeah," Sam disappeared and then there was a knock on the door.

Dean got up and walked over to the door, his eyes flickering over Cas eating before he peered out the peephole. It was Meg. Opening the door, he let her inside. "Welcome to the jungle," he said.

"Original," Meg rolled her eyes. "So, you found your angel. How you feeling Clarence?" she asked and Cas looked up at her.

"Meg," he said fondly. "How are you?"

"Better now that I know you're safe," she said with a shrug.

"This woman," Cas smiled. "Always worrying about me."

"You're important," she said. "Worth worrying about."

"You do realize she just wants to use you, right Cas?" Dean asked, and Cas just shrugged.

"In life, we all just want to use each other," Cas smiled. "She is honest about where her priorities are."

"How's the little load?" she asked, sitting down next to Cas.

"Wait, you knew?" Dean watched Meg closely.

"About baby bump? What, didn't you know?"

Sam came out with three beers, handed one to Dean, then one to Meg and began drinking his own. "I just found out today," Sam said.

"The other night," Dean took a few good swigs before speaking again. "How'd you know?"

"Cas has a different light about him," Meg said, stretching out her legs. "It's similar to the way we perceive angels in the first place."

"As an angel, I can see Meg's true face, her demon face," Cas said around mouthfuls of lettuce. "For her, she can see the energy signature of an angel, and as I have another life inside of me," he paused and ate some more.

"I can see the second life force," Meg shrugged. "Good beer."

"So, that means any demon that comes within a few feet of Cas can tell that he's got baby on board?" Sam asked.

"Yep," Meg nodded. "Sucks to be a pregnant angel."

"I don't mind it," Cas said. "I do not like the morning sickness and the needing to pee thing though."

"Oh, that really does suck," Meg agreed.

"Wait, this is really bad news," Dean said, mind working super fast. "You can't go anywhere, or someone will be trying to get you back to Crowley."

"Is that who had him?" Meg asked, looking at Cas. "I'm so sorry. You shouldn't have left for so long, you know how much these boys worry about you."

"It's true," Cas agreed, pushing the empty bowl away and considering the banana.

"Don't eat the peel," Meg said. "Do you need me to open that for you?"

He smiled and handed the banana to Meg, which just kind of made Dean sick. "Why are you opening his banana?"

"He likes the way I do it," Meg glanced at Dean. "Do you want to?" she offered the banana to him and Dean shook his head. Watching Meg and Cas together was a bit too domestic for his tastes.

"Cas," Sam said gently. "What did Crowley mean?"

"I don't know," Cas said, looking at Sam, as did Dean. What was Sam talking about?

"When Crowley said that we would need you to help us kill Dick?"

"Oh," Dean nodded, looking at Cas himself. "That's a good question."

"I don't know," Cas shook his head. "I don't fight anymore."

"Crowley knows what you're going to do?" Meg asked, and Dean felt her eyes flicker around the table.

"We needed his blood for the weapon," Dean said, not moving his gaze from Cas. Meg offered Cas the peeled banana and he started eating it, not looking up from the food in his hands.

"Cas," Sam said again. "What was he talking about?"

"I don't fight," Cas reiterated. "Besides, you know I am with child, you wouldn't ask someone like that to involve themselves in violence."

"No, we wouldn't, not if it wasn't really important," Sam agreed.

"Cas, what aren't you telling us?" Dean asked gently, reaching across the table to take one of Cas' hands.

"Nothing," he said, looking up at Dean. "Absolutely nothing." He had finished the banana and now he looked like he wished he had something else to eat.

"Yeah, that's the kind of nothing that can get me and Sammy killed," Dean said, squeezing the hand.

"I would like to lie down," Cas said, standing up. "I think I'm tired again." Then he started moving, his hand slipping right out of Dean's grasp.

When he was out of the room, Dean looked at Sam. "That was weird."

"Yeah," Sam agreed.

"You boys aren't putting your thinking caps on, are you?" Meg said, shaking her head.

"What are you talking about?" Dean asked, glaring at her.

"Those Leviathans were all inside dear sweet Castiel for a time, weren't they?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Your point?" Sam asked.

"Who better to know which monsters are which than the vessel they incubated in?" she said. "If there happens to be more than one Dick, or more than five, Cas would know who was who."

Dean looked over at Sam and held his brother's gaze for a time. "I'll talk to him," he said finally, and Sam nodded.

"Good idea."

*

When he got into the bedroom, Cas was curled up in a ball on the bed, and tears were trailing down his cheeks. Dean closed the door behind him and walked over to the bed, sitting down and putting a hand on Cas' shoulder.

"Hey," he said softly. "You don't have to cry Cas, I'm right here, remember? You aren't alone anymore."

"I do *not* like having to be rescued. I do *not* like being caught and kept like an animal." Cas choked a little then turned around and tossed his arms around Dean. "I do *not* like fighting, I don't want to do it."

"We're not asking you to fight Cas, we're just trying to figure out what's going on, you know? You're important to us, and we want you to be safe, but we also want to be safe ourselves." Dean scooted further onto the bed and pulled Cas into his lap, arms wrapping around Cas and holding on tight.

"It is dark there. Dark and evil, and those beings... they were where my child is now. I don't want the new life to feel the evil that used to be where it is."

"Our baby won't know Cas, it won't be able to tell. You're all light and beautiful, it's brand spanking new, and these Leviathan, they're old and so dark the light outshines them. You don't have to worry about that."

"What if we don't succeed?"

Dean ran a hand through Cas' hair and took a deep breath. "We're even less likely to succeed with you not on our side in this."

"Are you trying to make me go by providing a guilt trip?" Cas asked, sniffing a few times. Dean could feel his shirt getting wet.

"No," Dean shook his head. "No, I'm just trying to tell you the truth."

"I don't want to fight."

"So don't fight. Just look around corners and tell us if who we're looking at is the real Dick."

Cas snickered a bit and then shook his head. "That was inappropriate."

"Hey, he's the one who wants to be called Dick," Dean shrugged. "Not my fault."

There was a bit of silence then, and Dean just held Cas close, running his hand up and down Cas' back and side, fingers combing through Cas' hair. He liked having Cas close like this, and he worried about taking Cas with him to this horrible place, but if it was the only way to know for a fact that what they were going after was the real deal, they needed him.

"Promise that I won't have to fight?" Cas asked.

"You can still fly out of places, right?" Dean said, kissing Cas' head.

"Yes."

"Then you have permission to fly whenever you need to." He didn't want to give it, but... "After we find the real Mr. Roman."

Another bit of silence, then Cas nodded his head. "It would be sad for our baby to lose its father before it is in the second trimester."

"Yeah," Dean nodded himself, immensely relieved. "It would."

"I don't have to like it though."

"I didn't think you would. I'll be there for you Cas, I won't let you get hurt."

#

They'd had to say goodbye to Bobby before attacking the plant. The whole situation surrounding Dick Roman had been too much for him, and he'd gone vengeful. By the time they were prepared to attack, he'd told them he had to go, and they'd burned his flask. Before he left though, he told Dean to take care of his baby. As if Dean needed to be told.

The place was a maze and before long there was just Castiel and Dean trying to find the appropriate Dick Roman. Castiel was nervous, incredibly nervous, because this was like walking through a pit of demons, and any moment one of those demons might kill his child. Leviathan's were dangerous, more dangerous than anything else in Castiel's opinion, because they could kill angels with their bare hands.

"Hey, Cas," Dean said, and Castiel focused on Dean, trying not to frown.

"Yes?"

"Is this Dick?"

Looking around the corner carefully, Castiel's heart began to pound. He turned around again and started breathing very heavily. Closing his eyes, he could feel the tears start to fall down his face. "Yes," he whispered, feeling the energy that was *that* Leviathan. He had been the strongest inside Castiel and had fought the most to escape. Castiel could remember what it was like for him to take over Castiel's vessel, what it had felt like to be consumed by him.

"Cas?" Dean asked, and Castiel couldn't open his eyes, couldn't breathe, couldn't think straight. "Cas, come on, cut it out, there's no time for this."

Of course there wasn't. A pregnant man shouldn't be neck deep in the lion's den. If it was a real lion, Castiel would be fine, he'd just talk to the very large cat and all would be fine. Here though, he couldn't do anything, he couldn't help, he couldn't distract, and if Dick Roman decided that Castiel's child was dinner...

"Dean," Castiel whispered, trying to shake off the tremors. "I... I can't, I just can't."

"I need you Cas, I need you to straighten up here, I can't do this without you, you know that!"

"You can't do it *with* me," Castiel said, opening his eyes, looking up at Dean as his whole body shook with fear. "I'm no use... this is no use..."

"Snap out of it!" Dean hissed, grabbing Castiel's shoulder and shaking him. "This is it, end of the line, all of humanity at stake, again. I need to know you aren't going to lose it in there."

"I've already lost it," Castiel said, shaking his head, but trying to wipe away his tears. Dean needed him.

"You aren't lost though. You can do this, you just need to be careful, and... you know, appropriately away from Dick at the right times." Dean held Castiel's gaze for a moment, then he leaned in and kissed Castiel.

It was the first time they had kissed, Castiel and Dean. The last time Castiel hadn't known who he was, and the kiss had been wonderful, but it hadn't held the same sort of emotion this kiss had. Castiel wrapped his arms around Dean and held him close as their lips moved against each other. It felt so good, so wonderful. It was a promise, from Dean to Castiel. Dean knew that things weren't good, but he was going to deal, he would be there for Castiel, and Castiel knew that Dean meant every word behind the silence of their lips pressing close to each other. The tears didn't stop, but Castiel drew a strength from Dean that he treasured.

When they broke apart, Dean's green gaze searched Castiel's face. "We good?" he asked, and Castiel nodded his head.

"Yes Dean," he whispered. "We're good." Castiel would do anything for Dean, he always would, he always had. He stood up straight and wiped his hands down his overcoat. "Let's go."

*

When Castiel shoved the bone into Dick Roman's neck he felt the shock, the power, rush through him. This was energy, great and powerful, old as time, old as their time, and it rocked through the building in waves. He looked at Dean. They made it, they succeeded.

"Cas," Dean said with a small smile, and Castiel took a simple step back. Then Dick's head exploded, his body became molten and sprayed everywhere. Castiel felt a different energy rush across him, then rush across Dean, then Dean was gone.

"Dean?" Castiel whispered, looking around. Sam came in the room, as did Kevin. "Dean?!" he called out, feeling panic rising from the pit of his stomach all the way up his body. "Dean? Dean, Dean, Dean!" He ran around, slipping in bits of Dick and not caring, looking under tables, around instrument trays, anything for a glimpse of Dean.

"Ah, well, that's too bad," Crowley's voice came from where Castiel had been. "I was so hoping you'd go too."

Castiel looked up at Crowley. "What have you done with Dean?" he demanded, glaring and feeling his hands ball up into fists.

"I haven't done anything *with* Dean, he was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. I expected you to be going too." Crowley looked over at Kevin. "So, you're coming with me now love, and Feathers? Your boy is in Purgatory. I wonder how long he'll last there?" Crowley smiled at Castiel, and as Castiel rushed at him, he disappeared.

"Crowley!" Castiel screamed. "I'm going to kill you Crowley! I'm going to kill you!"

"Cas," Sam said, rushing over to him and putting his hands on Castiel's shoulders. "Cas, hey, we've got to get out of here."

"Dean!" Castiel turned to Sam. "Dean, he said he'd stay with me, but he's gone! He's gone!"

"We'll get him back," Sam said. "I promise, we'll find a way, okay? For now, we've blown up part of the building, Crowley just took Kevin, we have to get out of here before cops arrive or something worse happens. You've got to think of yourself and the baby now Cas, you've got to."

"Dean!" Castiel cried out again, wrapping his arms around Sam and clinging to him. His whole body was aching, hurting, and the pain went down to Castiel's core. Inside his body, Castiel could almost feel their baby crying with him. Daddy was gone.

#

Dean looked around himself, not sure where he was, or what was going on. He'd just been privy to Cas doing some major ganking of Dick, which was awesome to say in his mind, but then, when Dick exploded, he'd ended up here. Wherever here was. Where was here?

He was in a forest, it was huge, and dark, and in the shadows things moved. There was growling, and snapping of jaws, and Dean pulled out his gun. He hoped it still worked.

*

It took him two days to manage to not kill someone while fighting them, and when he pinned them to the tree he brought out his knife and sliced it cleanly across the man's arm. "Where am I?" he asked, watching the blood flow.

"You fucker!" the beast in front of him swore. "I ain't telling you shit!"

"You will if I want you to," Dean said, slicing a chunk of skin and flesh off the nearest leg. "I've had a lot of practice making people talk."

The man laughed and shook his head. "I ain't no people. I'm a vampire." Then there were teeth, so many teeth, and Dean smiled.

"Then I really can take my sweet old time." Dean sliced again, then again, and then again, but finally, the beast held up his hand in surrender.

"You're in Purgatory you idiot!" he cried out. "Motherfucker shouldn't be here, but you are. You're that human that appeared, just tasty as fuck."

Dean stared hard at the beast. "I'm in Purgatory?" he asked. "You have to be kidding me."

"No kid, no joke. It's the truth. Realest thing in the world."

Dean thought about that, then neatly chopped the beast's head off. That sucked. He looked around and shook his head. This was where the beasts went when they died. All snapping teeth and growling bodies. How did a human survive in Purgatory?

#

It had been a month and Castiel was officially showing. He was also showing off his temper in a big way, and often.

"Sam!" he said, turning on his heel and staring at the man in exasperation. "Dean is not here, and we haven't figured out how to get him back yet. Don't you think that's the most important thing to do?"

"We've been trying Cas!" he said, shaking his head. "You know it's not that simple, or you'd have been there and back by now."

Castiel had taken to pacing. Not because it was useful, but because it was the only thing he could do that reminded him of Dean. He couldn't drink, it was bad for the baby, he couldn't hunt things, that was bad for the baby, but he could pace, which was something Dean was incredibly good at. "I want him to be here," Castiel said as his irritation took on a life of it's own and he blasted a hole in the wall.

"Cas!" Sam protested, looking at the scorch mark. "You need to stop doing that!"

For a moment, he wasn't sorry, but when he saw the look on Sam's face he felt a bit bad for ruining the wall. Again. Sam stood up and walked over to the hole and tested the wall for stability. "I'm sorry," Castiel said softly, and Sam sighed.

"It doesn't look like you blasted through this time. You should be careful Cas, I don't want you to get hurt."

"I'm fine," Castiel said, returning to pacing. He wanted his Dean back now.

*

"I think I... no, never mind," Sam said with a sigh and Castiel looked up from his book.

"What do you have?" Castiel asked, rubbing his eyes. They'd been reading for weeks, everything they could find on Purgatory. No luck yet.

"Oh, this just said that angels and demons have no access to Purgatory," Sam said.

"I know that," Castiel said. "Obviously I know that."

"Yeah, I thought there was something more, but it just goes into the lore on why they can't."

"God did not want for us to be mutilated by the creatures inside."

"Well, yeah, I guess that's what you would say. This book suggests that Purgatory is a place where the creatures can be themselves."

"They can be themselves there? Yes, that makes sense, because of nothing!" Castiel said, tossing his book off to the side and stomping around the room. "I want Meg back."

Sam sighed and took a drink of his beer. "I know Cas," Sam said. "I know."

*

"It's okay baby," Castiel said softly, lying in his bed at night, Sam in the room next door, candles flickering lightly on his nightstand. The storm had blown all the electricity and Castiel liked it in the dark. He could feel the storm outside raging, but in here, in this moment, Castiel was with his child, and they were safe. One hand ran across his curved belly, "Daddy'll be home someday soon, okay? I'll make sure he's back before you're born."

He felt the life inside him kick and he smiled. "That's right," he whispered, leaning back and closing his eyes. "Dean will be back."

In his dreams he was with Dean, they were kissing and touching and not so far apart. Sometimes they simply lay on the bed talking, and when Castiel woke up he wondered if he had somehow managed to cross into Purgatory to dream with Dean. He knew it wasn't possible, Purgatory was so closed off there was no way for a soul there to communicate with a soul here, but he still wished. Sometimes, when he closed his eyes he could see Dean, and believe that Dean was there, with him. Sometimes.

*

"I'm back," Sam said, coming into the cabin with several bags of food. Castiel looked up at him and sighed.

"Good, I'm starving," Castiel said and Sam nodded.

"I thought you might be. I killed a couple of vampires outside when I was coming back, so keep your eyes out okay?"

"Of course. Have you seen any demons?"

"No," Sam actually sounded disappointed. "I haven't. It's strange, I thought Crowley would be right on getting you back in his hands."

"Perhaps he has found another toy to play with." Castiel frowned, trying not to be irritated that Meg was in his clutches. He had to get Dean first.

"Maybe." Sam went into the kitchen and started chopping vegetables. He seemed to be getting better at cooking as time went on.

"Sam," Castiel said, picking up the notebook he'd found under all the other books in the room. "I've seen something interesting here today."

"Oh? What's that?" Sam asked, and Castiel walked into the kitchen, holding the notebook in his hands.

"Something about rogue reapers, that sound interesting to you?"

Sam cut his finger as his hand slipped, his gaze snapping to Castiel's face. "What are you doing with my notebook?"

"I found it while I was cleaning. What does this mean, that Reapers have access to all the realms?" Castiel watched Sam closely, and Sam put the knife down, turning on the water and running his finger under it.

"It's just an idea, but I don't know if it would work."

"I'm going," Castiel said, tossing the notebook on the table. "I can more easily find a reaper and -"

"No Cas, you aren't," Sam said, shaking his head and looking over at Castiel. "I'm going."

"I want to go get Dean," Castiel crossed his arms.

"I want you to stay here, to stay safe. You do realize that if you go, you could be jeopardizing your child's life, right? I don't want you to compromise your health for Dean's sake. I can go, find him, come back, all will be safe."

"I want to get Dean back! I'm an angel, I have more power than you do, I'm stronger."

"You're pregnant!" Sam retorted. "I don't want innocent blood on my hands here, and Dean will kill you if you hurt your baby because of getting him out of Purgatory."

"I want Dean!" Castiel cried out, feeling his heart pounding in his chest, his eyes filling with tears. He had determined a month ago that he didn't like crying, and he also didn't like being emotional. "So I'm going."

"Well, I don't know how to find one anyway, so the point is moot. But I'm going, you're staying here Cas, that's not up for debate."

"How are you going to stop me?" Castiel asked, crossing his arms and glaring at Sam. "I'm plenty powerful and fully capable of finding one on my own to get me to Purgatory."

"Do I have to lock you in here?" Sam asked, shaking his head in exasperation.

They stared at each other for a few minutes, then Castiel sighed and looked away, arms falling as he relented. "Fine. I will allow you to go," he said, but if he found a way to go before Sam did, he was taking it.

#

Sam was frightened. Not because he was going to Purgatory, nor because of what resided there, but because Castiel thought he was going himself. He'd done a lot of research without Cas knowing about it, and written much of his notes in the notebook. Only the more recent things he hadn't told Cas, and that was that he knew how to get to a Reaper.

He told Cas he was going out on a quick mission, shouldn't be gone more than a few days, and headed a couple states away. Sam had done a few quick missions the last couple of months since they'd killed Dick and Dean had disappeared. Most of the time he was just trying to get a feel for what was going on now that the "head of the snake" was decapitated. The Leviathan's really weren't very good at holding things together without their leader though, and everything seemed to have fallen completely to pieces. Sam couldn't be sad about that.

Driving into a parking lot, Sam looked around town for the man he'd heard about, the Reaper that would take him to Purgatory. He had money, he had goods, he had the Winchester promise, and he was going to do whatever it took to get his brother back. Finally spotting the man in the appropriate cab, Sam got out of the car and headed over to him.

"Hey," Sam said, nodding at the cabbie. The man looked over at him and nodded. "I was hoping for a fare."

"Where you heading to?" the man asked, and Sam looked him square in the eyes.

"I want to go to Purgatory."

Raising his eyebrows at Sam, the man shrugged. "That's a dangerous thing to want," he said. "I kind of feel like this place is Purgatory, always constant, always the same."

"That's not the kind of Purgatory I want," Sam shook his head. "I want the real deal, monsters and all, and I want a way back out for me and my brother."

"Oh shit," the man said, looking around. "Get in the cab."

Sam did so, as did the driver, and he started driving. "You're a Winchester, aren't you? I'm guessing Sam, since Dean's the one stuck?"

"Yeah," Sam wondered if every creature and monster knew about them at this point.

"Shit, shit, shit. Look, I don't want any trouble."

"I don't either. I just want to get back what's rightfully mine, so to speak." Sam felt like he was missing an arm, or a leg, or half of his body when Dean was gone, and Cas was like a walking, talking ball of anxiety and that just didn't make things easier. "You can do it then, right?"

"No credit cards, I know better. I want a favor, and it's going to have to be a pretty big one, and I will collect on my own time."

"Nothing that requires killing the innocent, hurting people who don't deserve it, or anything else that specifically goes against our moral code," Sam said instantly. "Otherwise it's a yes."

"You can say that to me straight faced? What kind of creature am I? A Reaper, I don't want parlor tricks, I want the real deal, when I need it."

"Fine," Sam said with a nod. "Keep to my rules and we're copacetic."

"When do you want to go?"

"Now."

The cabbie and Sam exchanged glances and finally the cabbie nodded his head. "Okay, it's a deal."

Sam just hoped that this would be enough to get Dean back, enough to get the family back to where they should be. Cas needed Dean, and so did Sam. They both needed him, they both missed him, and the way things were going, they would go crazy and kill one another if Dean didn't get back home soon.

#

Nightmares were preferable to Purgatory, but Dean thought there was something about the place that was more... alive, more real, honest. You knew where you stood, who the enemies were, what the goal was. He hadn't died yet, but he had killed the same man three times. There was an uncertainty to the whole thing, if he died, did he stay in Purgatory, or did he move on to Heaven or Hell? Dean wasn't sure, but he didn't like thinking about it, so he was determined to live.

Some days that was harder to do than others. Like today, for instance. Today he'd been caught by a group of five. Usually he could manage to separate some of them from each other, but not today. Today they knew who he was, and they wanted a piece of him. Some of them he'd killed before, so they knew Dean's tactics.

The fighting got bloody, really bloody, and just when he was beginning to believe that he might not make it this time, help came in the most unlikely form.

Seeing a slight shine as a blade flashed through the air, Dean looked up to see, "Sam?!"

"Hey Dean," Sam said, tossing the body to the side and grasping at another person. "Need a hand?"

Yes, yes he did. "No, I'm just smelling the flowers." The renewed hope, the renewed desire to live made him three times as strong, and between the two of them they managed to finish the crowd off. Then he turned to his brother and stared for a while.

"Good to see you," Sam said, and then they were hugging, holding each other tightly.

"Sammy!" Dean sighed, clinging tightly, sure this was some sort of trick. "How the hell'd you get here?"

"We owe a favor to a Reaper now, but I think we'll be okay."

Finally backing away, Dean looked his brother up and down. "You're a sight for sore eyes, let me tell you. Wait," the words sank in. "We owe a favor to a Reaper?"

"Sort of a rogue Reaper, and yeah. I had to though, Cas wanted to come, and I didn't let him. He's really upset. Crowley took Kevin, and took Meg, then you came here... he's been a mess."

"I bet. Sorry I couldn't be there to help. So, what do we do now?"

"We get back to where I came in. We have to get there on time or we miss our bus ride out."

"Then lets not lose our tickets," Dean said, motioning for Sam to start walking.

There was several minutes of silence, then finally Sam said, "You okay?"

"Define okay Sammy," Dean said. "I'm battered, bruised, dirty as fuck, and I've been killing creatures like it's my job. Oh, wait, it is."

"I wish we could have gotten you out of here sooner, but..." he was interrupted as they were attacked again.

The two of them worked well together though, and soon enough they were walking once more. "There was no way," Sam finished.

"You didn't know what to do, but you tried, and now you've succeeded, so, that's all that matters Sammy." Dean wanted to cry, to hug some more, and to jump around excitedly. It was a mixture he didn't intend to do.

"Yeah." Sam nodded at him. "It's really good to see you Dean."

When they reached the appropriate spot, there was nothing and no one there. Of course in Purgatory all you had to do was wait a minute and someone found you. Which was true.

"Here is two Winchesters," a grizzled figure said, coming out of the trees. "Not just one, but two. That's nice."

"Hey, lets cut us a slice of brother pie," another said, and then Dean was fighting again, the movements coming easily with his brother right by his side.

It had been months now since someone had Dean's back, and every time he went to fight off something that was sure to do him serious injury, his brother was there, taking care of business. Dean couldn't wait to get back, to get home, to get to Cas.

He'd done a lot of thinking since being here, and more than ever he wanted to tell Cas that he cared, and that he'd be there, and that things would be okay. He wanted to try something with Cas he had never wanted to try before. A relationship. A real one, where he was there for Cas, and Cas was there for him. Dean wanted Cas to be his boyfriend, and for the first time in his life, he didn't think he cared if the world knew.

"I'm ready to, oh shit," a voice said, and when Dean turned to look he noticed a man standing nearby, a frown on his face. "This is not okay. You boys need to end this so you can go."

Smiling so broadly he thought his face would split, Dean dispatched his current foe with a thrust and then he and Sammy ganked the last one. Looking at his brother, Dean said, "That was great. Let's never do this again."

Chuckling, Sam nodded. "Deal." Then they turned to the man, and Dean turned towards home.

#

Castiel paced around the room, needing to do something, but not sure what to do. Sam had been gone for two days and he knew that Sam could come back at any time, but Castiel felt like he should be back already, he should be walking in that door. With Dean.

He knew that Sam was going to find Dean without him. It didn't make him happy, but he couldn't stop Sam, he knew what could happen to him in Purgatory and that would be... well, it would be horrible, and Sam was right, even if Castiel didn't want to admit it. If he didn't need to sleep and eat, Castiel might have gone after Sam, but those needs were fairly intense, and he couldn't ignore his body in the pursuit of Dean. 

That was when the phone rang, and Castiel jumped for it. He didn't recognize the number, but that didn't matter. "Hello?" he asked, answering it.

"Hey, um... Castiel?" a familiar voice said over the line.

"Kevin Tran?" Castiel asked. "You are... calling? What has happened? Are you safe? Is Meg with you?" There were so many questions.

"Um, I got away. I thought... is Sam or Dean there?"

"No, they are away. Should I come to get you, is that acceptable?" Castiel asked, searching the wavelengths of human souls to locate Kevin.

"Yeah, um, that's fine, as long as," Castiel moved and when Kevin finished the sentence, he was echoing in the phone. "It's safe for you to... um," Kevin put the phone down. "Hi." His eyes traveled over Castiel's body and he frowned.

"Hello Kevin," Castiel said, closing the phone and putting it in his trench coat. He could still move from place to place as an angel, but it was much more exhausting than it used to be. Even though he had to change clothes these days due to his growing belly size, he always wore his coat, the coat that Dean had kept for him, even though he had betrayed Dean so terribly. Castiel wanted Dean back.

"I um... I got away," Kevin said. He looked neater, and he had a duffle bag over his shoulder. "There was this tablet... I sort of stole it, so we should be careful."

"I won't allow Crowley to have you again," Castiel said, placing a hand on Kevin's arm. "Are you ready to leave?"

"Wait, where are we going?"

"Somewhere safe." Castiel flit his gaze over Kevin. There was no markers on Kevin, nor was he possessed. "You are safe." Then he went to move them. They were inside the house at the same time the door was opening. Castiel let go of Kevin and turned towards the door.

His heart almost stopped in his chest, and he blinked several times. "Cas?" Dean whispered. He was scruffy, with months worth of beard on his face, and his clothes were exactly the same as the ones he'd left in, although they were tattered and worn.

"Dean?" Castiel said, voice very soft. He took a step towards Dean. "You... you're here? For real?"

"Yeah," Dean choked, coming inside. "I'm here for real Cas."

Castiel could feel his heart pounding now in his chest, could feel his child recognizing its father, and reaching for the energy that belonged to said father. "Dean?" His eyes filled with tears and he rushed forward then, throwing his arms around Dean and clutching onto him with all his might. "Dean! Dean! You're back, you're really back?"

"I'm really back Cas," he said, holding on just as tightly as Castiel was. "God I've missed you Cas, missed you so much."

"I've missed you as well Dean," Castiel said. "I've missed you so much." Castiel could hear that Sam and Kevin were talking, but that didn't matter, because Dean was *here* and he was in Castiel's arms, and that was something Castiel never wanted to be apart from ever again.

"Yeah," Dean said, and there was a silence between the two of them for some time as they just held onto each other.

Finally though, Castiel moved away. "I'm sorry my stomach is pushing into you so much."

"It's fine Cas. You're... really showing." Dean's gaze flit down to the belly Castiel was now sporting.

"Yes, I am," Castiel remembered the conversation they'd held months ago and said, "Do you believe it now Dean?"

"Yeah Cas, I do. Thats..." he reached out and lightly placed a hand on Castiel's stomach. "That's real."

"It moves and kicks sometimes. Often it keeps me awake at night." Castiel moved a little closer to the hand.

"Yeah?" Dean looked up at Castiel. "Is it a boy or girl?"

"Do you want to know?" Castiel asked, tilting his head to one side. He didn't think Dean was the type to want to know.

For a moment, they looked at each other, then Dean smiled. "Naw, it doesn't matter, does it?"

"It doesn't," Castiel shook his head and returned the smile. "Not to me."

"Get a room," Sam said, coughing in between each word.

"Is something the matter with your throat?" Castiel asked, turning to look at Sam and Dean laughed.

"You should get cleaned up Dean, you're a scruffy mess."

"Yes," Castiel agreed, turning to look at Dean. "This way, you can use my bathroom."

"Your bathroom?" Dean asked, going with Castiel. "Since when do you have your own bathroom?"

"Since Sam stopped wanting to share his," Castiel said, walking right into his bedroom. Dean closed the door behind himself and Castiel motioned to the newly installed, extra bathroom. "Get cleaned up, then we'll talk."

#

When Dean got out of the shower he looked at himself in the mirror and sighed. He'd shaved all the fur off, his body was clean, every bit of him, and he had a towel wrapped around his waist. This was the first time he was going to be close to Cas since Cas went crazy. Months had passed, he'd made an angel pregnant, he'd been to Purgatory.

Wiping a hand across the condensation, he blinked at his reflection. "What am I doing?" he whispered, feeling his heart pounding in his chest. He wanted Cas, had dreamed of him almost every night while he'd been gone, and he loved him. Dean loved Cas. "I love Cas," he told himself, and the man in the mirror agreed with him.

He brushed his teeth and brushed again just in case, used the mouthwash that was under the sink, brushed his hair, and stepped back. Looking himself over, he decided he looked pretty good, all things considered. Making sure the towel was still firmly around him, he opened the door and walked out into the bedroom.

Cas was on the bed, leaning back on a pile of pillows reading a magazine. Dean frowned at Cas, when had he *ever* read a magazine? Besides that, he was dressed in very bright, very floral, tourist clothes. The button down top was undone at the bottom and Dean cringed internally at the royal purple flowers with emerald leaves surrounding them. They seemed to dance around on a black background covered with bright blue, yellow and pink stripes. Even Cas' loose fitting sweats were covered in swirls of color and they clashed with the shirt which clashed with itself. Who the hell had been dressing Cas?

"Dean," Cas said instantly, putting the periodical down and looking over at Dean. "Oh," he breathed, eyes traveling down Dean's body.

"I um... didn't want to put the dirty clothes back on," Dean said with a slight flush, looking away. He thought he might go blind looking at Cas' clothes. How had he not noticed them when he'd come in earlier? Oh, right, because all he'd been thinking was how happy he was to see Cas again. "I could put something on, maybe my bag's in Sammy's room," he started moving towards the door, but Cas lifted his hand.

"No," he said, getting off the bed and walking over to Dean. "Please, no. I don't want you to leave. Is it uncomfortable that I find you incredibly attractive and cannot seem to stop looking at your body?"

"Oh," Dean breathed, looking over Cas. Even pregnant Cas looked good. Dean remembered what that body had looked like under all that hideous fabric, and he wanted to see it again. "No, that doesn't bother me." He wanted to explore, to touch, to kiss, to love.

"That makes me happy." Cas reached out and touched Dean's soft cheek. "I want to kiss you Dean."

"Yeah," Dean said, and then there was no space between them. Dean wrapped one arm around Cas' waist and buried his other hand into Cas' hair. His lips were on Cas' and they were kissing gently at first, but that escalated quickly. Dean opened his mouth and slipped his tongue out to swipe across Castiel's lips, and they opened right up, tongues meeting again for the first time in what felt like forever. Cas' mouth was slick, and Dean ran his tongue across the teeth, swiped his tongue around Cas', tilted his head to one side so he could get deeper into Cas' mouth.

They kissed for a while, so long that Dean was starting to get dizzy. He broke away and looked into Cas' eyes. "This is okay with you Cas?" he asked. Dean didn't want to press his luck.

"Yes Dean," Cas said with a small nod. "The excessive horniness started a while ago. Now I would like to crawl on top of you and kiss every part of your body. I want to feel you inside me again, and I want you to scream out my name as I come on top of you."

Dean swallowed as he imagined all of that, and then he nodded. "All that?" he asked.

"And so much more. Every night I think, for at least a week."

Chuckling, Dean pulled Cas into his arms. "Yeah, that sounds good Cas." It sounded really, really great.

The kissing began again when they were on the bed, Dean's towel on the ground with Cas' clothes. This time though, Dean was able to kiss more skin, his hands exploring all of Cas' body. They were silent as they kissed and touched, both of them intent on discovering what made each other moan rather than communicating. Dean found that Cas liked to be kissed on his sides and stomach, and Cas found the spot behind Dean's ear that drove him crazy.

Cas had lube, which was offered to Dean without a word, and Dean moved Cas onto his back so Dean could start preparing Cas. He slicked up his fingers and pressed one inside.

"Dean," Cas groaned, head tilting back and exposing a beautiful expanse of neck that made Dean's mouth water.

"Yeah Cas," he said, working the finger deep then pulling it back. "Yeah." Cas was so fucking beautiful, and Dean wished he knew how to say that.

Soon enough he was adding another finger, and Cas keened, hands grasping at the sheets. "Dean! I... I want you!"

"I know Cas," Dean said, stretching and adding a third finger. "But we gotta do this part first."

"I don't want this, I want you!" Cas demanded, and Dean couldn't help it, he smiled.

"So fucking hot Cas," he said, moving his fingers and finally finding the spot he was looking for.

"Dean!" Cas cried out, and Dean stroked across it a few more times. "Dean! Now, I need you now!"

"Alright," Dean said, pulling his hand out and slicking himself up. "You can have me now Cas." He had thought at first that seeing Cas naked would turn him off completely, what with Cas being pregnant and all, but the stomach bulge didn't bother him. Somehow, it made Dean want Cas more. Here was this *being*, this *angel* who was pregnant, because Dean had fallen in love with Cas, and he couldn't help himself. Then Cas just went with it, deciding to bring Dean's life into the world. That was sexy in a way Dean wasn't prepared to deal with, so when he began pressing in, he whispered, "I love you Cas."

Castiel's eyes snapped open and he looked right at Dean. "Yes," he whispered. "Yes Dean, yes, I love you." Then he wrapped his legs around Dean's hips and began pulling Dean closer.

Dean leaned down and kissed the top of the bump, kissed up Cas' chest, kissed Cas, then wrapped his arms around Cas. Slowly he filled Cas, until he was in completely, and Cas was whimpering in Dean's mouth. They kissed, tongues playing with each other for a time, then Cas broke away.

"Move," he growled out, gravely voice rocking through Dean's nerves and going straight to his dick. "Fuck me right into the bed Dean, because if you don't, you're not getting out of me."

Gasping, Dean stared moving, his hips guiding his body, his legs setting the pace. Cas locked his ankles together, and he used his heels to dig into Dean's ass, spurring him on. "Cas," he whispered, feeling the burn starting in his thighs and loving it. Speeding up, he looked right into Cas' bottomless blue eyes. "Cas."

"That's right Dean," Cas said, nodding. "I can take you, I can always take you."

"You want it hard Cas?" Dean asked, and at the look in Cas' eyes, he growled himself, kissing fiercely down Cas' cheek and neck, lips wrapping around an expanse of skin and beginning to suck it into his mouth. He got the right rhythm and then he was able to snap his hips into Cas, pounding him through the haze of leg burn and enjoying every moment of it.

"Dean!" Cas cried out as Dean's mouth sucked in time to his thrusts. "Dean! Yes, oh yes, you're so perfect!"

Dean reached down and wrapped his fingers around Cas' dick, his body so ready, he wasn't sure how much longer he could last. It didn't matter though, because when he touched Cas, his dick twitched and Cas was crying out, coming hard, ass clenching around Dean.

Pulling his mouth off of Cas' neck, Dean cried out, "Cas!" as he came himself, feeling his body empty out into Cas and knowing that he'd never want to be away from Cas ever again.

After, he was lying with Cas in his arms, stroking Cas' back and kissing his forehead a few times. "We're okay, right? I mean, this isn't going to ever stop?"

"No Dean. I'm sorry, but you're stuck with me."

Dean chuckled. "Yeah, I think that's just what I want." Even if Cas talked about things he didn't understand, even if Cas spoke to the bees and sometimes collected honey by hand, Dean didn't want to ever be apart again.

#

Cas was lying down on their makeshift operating table, breathing heavily as Dean stood over him. "You're sure about this?" Dean asked, his overly cleaned, very sharp knife held in his hand. "I'm not going to do the wrong thing here?"

"I am sure Dean, but if you would like to hand the knife to me, I'll do it myself." Cas' body was male, there was no way for the child to come out except by being cut out. Dean had hurt people, ripped them apart layer by layer, cut into flesh and bone with ease and precision, but standing above Cas, and his baby, he wasn't sure he was ready to do this.

"It's okay Dean," Sam said from next to him. "Just like we talked about, nice and easy. You aren't going to hurt him, or the baby."

"I'll be hurting someone soon if you don't get to cutting Dean!" Cas said, eyes glaring at him. There was a light behind his gaze and Dean nodded, looking down at the flesh and steadying himself. No one else could do this, neither Sam nor Kevin had the same familiarity with anatomy that Dean did, and Dean wasn't sure he would trust even Sam with this task. If someone was going to fail, he was going to be the one doing it.

"Yeah," Dean said, then he carefully brought the blade down and against Castiel's flesh.

Cas cried out and leaned back, Kevin above his head, holding onto one hand and staring solidly at Dean's hand, his face pale. Dean wondered if Kevin was going to be the one passing out. Sam was on the other side, holding Cas' other hand, his gaze also steady on Dean, but more grounding that Kevin was.

"That's it Dean," Sam said gently. "A little deeper or you won't be able to get the baby out."

"You fucking do this," Dean muttered, holding his breath, but pushing a little deeper in. His heart was hammering in his chest, in his ears, and he was sure he was going to do something wrong.

Reading books on this experience couldn't possibly prepare a person, and as he slid the blade across Cas' body he felt sweat begin sliding down his back and across his cheek. What if he slipped? His hands weren't that steady, his heart was pounding too hard, his breath was coming too quick. Only they really were, weren't they? His hands had slowly tortured men and women alike for years, they knew how deep to go, how hard to press, how gentle to be. This was Cas, this was his baby, he had to be the strong daddy here, and for the first time, he had to use the anatomy lessons he'd gotten from Alistair for his benefit.

"I think I'm going to vomit," Kevin said, swallowing audibly.

"Don't do it near Cas," Dean said, finally finding the calm inside that allowed him to do anything. This was Cas, his Cas, the Cas he'd fallen in love with, and in here was the baby, and he would be damned if he'd hurt it.

"That's right, here you go Dean," Sam said, offering Dean a bottle of water. Dean took a sip, then gave it back. There was blood everywhere of course, but he knew Cas could heal that with no problems. The important part was getting the child out.

"Dean," Cas whispered as Dean had paused. "I love you Dean," he said, and Dean looked up, meeting Cas' eyes.

"Yeah Cas," he said, a slow smile creeping across his lips. "I love you too." That was it. He could do this.

Carefully, and precisely, he cut through the next bit inside Cas, and he could see the baby, his baby, their baby. Reaching in, he carefully started pulling the child out. It was so messy, but he'd been vomited on, exploded on and had all manner of gross things sprayed on him, so this wasn't that bad in comparison. Wiping the child's face, it suddenly started crying, and Dean smiled at it.

"That's right," he said with a grin. "Breathe baby, breathe! You're in the world now, little," he looked down. "Girl!" He laughed. "It's a girl Cas, we had a girl."

"Dean," Sam said slowly. "It's time to deal with the umbilical cord."

"Oh, yeah." He shrugged and held the child over to Sam, who let go of Cas' hand and carefully cut the cord. "It's a baby girl Cas."

Looking down at Cas, he saw him lying on the table, breathing heavily, tears rolling down his cheeks. "Yes Dean," he said, nodding at Dean. "It's a girl. She's beautiful."

"She kind of looks like a raisin," Dean said, and Kevin whacked his arm. "What?"

"She's beautiful," Kevin said. "You always say that the baby is beautiful."

Allowing Sam to take her and move her to the basin to begin cleaning her off, Dean nodded. "Yeah, she's beautiful alright." Then he turned back to Cas and started stitching him up. "You let me know if I don't need to do this Cas," he said, but there was no noise from Cas.

Looking up at him, he noticed that Cas' eyes were closed, and he frowned. "Cas? Cas, you okay?"

Cas didn't move, but Kevin reached over to touch his cheek. "I think he fell asleep," Kevin said, looking over at Dean.

"I've never known anyone who could sleep through the things Cas can sleep through," Dean said, returning to his task at hand.

When Sam came back over, his baby was wrapped up in a blanket and Sam was cradling her gently, a smile on his face. "I'm an uncle," he said, looking at Dean.

"Yes you are." Dean finished the stitches inside, then started the stitches outside, glancing up at his brother's dimpled face. He was so cute when he was happy, and Dean was ridiculously happy to see his brother so happy. Laughing again, he nodded at Sam. "What are we going to name her?"

"I thought you and Cas were fighting over that the other day. Didn't you decide on anything?"

"Well I wanted Jackie or Samantha, but he didn't like that," Dean shrugged.

"Mary," Cas whispered, and Dean looked down at Cas.

"Mary?" Dean asked, and he frowned. Could they really? Would that be okay?

"I think, she should be named Mary," Cas said, voice a little stronger.

Dean choked up and looked over at the crying baby in Sam's arms. "What do you think Sammy? Is she a Mary?"

"She's the daughter of an angel and you," Sam said, looking at Dean and smiling. "She's definitely strong enough to be a Mary."

"I hereby call thee Mary," Kevin said, reaching out and lightly touching the baby's head. "These men are going to spoil you rotten."

#

"Are you sure about this Cas?" Dean asked, looking at the house.

"You don't like it?" Castiel asked, turning to look at Dean. He thought Dean would be happy to have a place he could call home.

"It's not that, it's just..." he looked at Castiel, and then he shrugged. "It's a lot of work."

"We'll have time, and if we don't, that's fine too. There will always be someone here to keep it up." The house was way out in the country, with plenty of space around it. A small river was out back, and there was even a pond. The house was old, slightly dilapidated, and it needed a lot of work before it would be truly inhabitable, but really, all of them had lived in worse before.

"You know there's monsters everywhere, Crowley isn't done searching for Mary, you haven't found Meg, and there's a demon tablet only partly translated. Things could get bad yet," Dean pointed out.

"Things always get bad Dean. The point of this house is that here we can be safe." Castiel gave Dean a small smile, running his hands down his t-shirt. Dean had been firm about not allowing Castiel the freedom to choose his own clothes. Castiel was a little sad, since Sam had been so free about it but it was no fun to have Dean cringe every time he looked over. Now he wore jeans and muted colors. It was okay, because Dean smiled more now, which was wonderful.

"Nothing is safe," Dean frowned, and then Castiel remembered something.

"Ah, stay here with Mary, I'll be right back." Castiel disappeared and arrived at the salvage yard. Wrapping his hands on something, he returned to the house with it. "Here," he said, lifting up the sign that said proudly, "Singer Salvage Yard". "I thought we could display this somewhere, what do you think?"

Looking over at Dean, who had Mary in his arms and was gently rocking her, he thought he saw a sad look flash through Dean's eyes. "Yeah Cas," he said, walking over. "I'd really like that."

He was getting better at figuring out what made Dean happy, and as more time went on, he knew he could do even better yet. Dean was his, they had a five month old baby, his body was healed, and for the first time, he had scars from the experience. Castiel rather liked that, it would always remind him of what it had taken to get him to this point in his life.

Putting the sign down, he went over to Dean and wrapped his arms around him. "So, we have a lot of work to do. I thought the panic room was a great idea, and maybe even a few rooms that are demon and angel proof, you know, in case."

"Will Mary be able to get into an angel proofed room?" Dean asked, frowning.

"Yes, she is not an angel." Castiel reached out and lightly touched his daughter's forehead and she giggled at him. "She is a nephilim, which is something entirely different."

"Hey, no one is going to kill her, right?" Dean said, catching Castiel's gaze.

"Of course not Dean," Castiel said. "We won't let them."

"That's right," Dean said with a nod, kissing his baby's head. "You're ours to protect, and when you're big enough to do so, you'll learn to Hunt."

"Dean," Cas protested. "We've talked about this."

Grinning up at Cas, Dean shrugged. "Yeah, and we've got years to keep talking about it."

Nothing in the world was perfect, but for now, everything was right.


End file.
